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    dots Submission Name: The Flightdots

    Author: Side of Keen
    ASL Info:    43/F/Middle of the US
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 21/23/5
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1596
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 371

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

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    dotsThe Flightdots

    You send me soaring.
    I close my eyes and feel
    My body leave this earth.

    Stars rush past-
    I ignite-
    A match held to your flame.

    For a moment I am the stars
    And the sky is filled
    With shining splinters of me.

    And when I float back down
    And land on earth again
    I am ashes.

    Submitted on 2005-12-24 21:21:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i love the last few lines of this, you paint a really interesting picture of what its like when your with that special person. To me its about the feeling of complete indestructablility when your with them, and being nothing without them which is why i like it so much cos i can really relate to that. Great stuff.
    | Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by edwardgalaxy | [ Reply to This ]
      that was cool... and so nicley expressed... i loved it. great write...simple and good...
    keep it up... hope to see more ...
    | Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the feeling you're describing here...it's really relatable and it was easy imagry to grasp. that and you used some good sensory detail. This poem really portrays trust to me ...like you have no fear of falling with this person which is in itself a incredible feeling. great write! keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way you feel your body leaving the Earth and you don't watch it. You completely trust the person you're with and you trust them to carry you away. I also like the way you consider yourself with the stars when you are with them and when that person is gone you are nothing but ashes. When I read this I imagined you kissing and this is describing what you were feeling at the time.
    | Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by dude90998 | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with each and every good member of elite skills who has agreed with you. I enjoyed reading it and like others said, it was worth reading and unique. I look forward to reading more of your poems.
    I hope that you will take time out and comment on my poem like I did to you.
    | Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hell yeah! I [censored]in' love this poem. it kinda reminds of the way J.R. Hayes of Pig Destroyer writes. I really like this piece, I don't know why but I find this to be one of the most unique writes on the site.
    | Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by swayingbox | [ Reply to This ]
      Great imagery. Great work. You have a poet's spirit. And the ending is wonderful. Nothing wrong at all with you work.
    | Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      holy crap, that is ammmmmmmmaaaaazing!!

    i love it!!! :D keep it up!!
    i loved the ending especially.
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by mrmundane | [ Reply to This ]

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