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Reality


Author: BleedingTears
ASL Info:    16/f/Neverland
Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 418 /289 /62
Words: 72
Class/Type: Poetry /Alone
Total Views: 948
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 501



Description:


I dont have anymore sparks in my writing anymore...so if it sucks im sorry and i know


Reality



Why did you have to go?
I've been waiting for days for your return
Watching this empty street
Waiting for a heartless soul
You always sound the same
Singing the same song
Playing the same tune
Seeing this priceless pice of art
Watching its way approaching me
Thinking it's someone special
Will you find your way back to me?
I'm wishing for someone you are
But none of this will become...
Reality




Submitted on 2005-12-25 20:34:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  good job i can see whereyour comming from on this. I hve felt this way many times. great job
| Posted on 2006-12-12 00:00:00 | by FLHgg | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. Very good write. I love the emotion portrayed here. Powerful indeed. I like the flow. Very edgy. I like the ending. Packs a powerful punch. I look forward to read more of your work :)

Ciao,

}i{Renae}i{
| Posted on 2006-10-21 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
  It seems that you are going through a rough time right now. I feel like my writing sucks too, when I am feeling down. Try and lighten up or write about different subjects. Something you enjoy in life. There has to be something: Nature, music, a movie... it's fun to try. i have a poem: Sweet music, I hope you read it if you have not before.
Anyways, back to your poem. when I was reading you sounded like you gave up. It sounded like you are drained out of everything even emotions.

Singing the same song
Playing the same tune

I like these lines, I get your meaning. This poem has a lot of potential. A little editing would not hurt at all.

PinkFairy
| Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]
  You shouldn't doubt yourself so much. Too many times we think we do something awful, but it's not. And this is good. You might not feel so inspired, but you still have the talent. It seems forced, but I think you already knew that. But like I said, don't doubt yourself.
Cheers,
~Persephone~
| Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
  Its a good poem u have a good rhyme and it flows really good. This poem makes me think of relationships i can relate alot . Its reaslly good . keep it up.
| Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by hidden_cry | [ Reply to This ]


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