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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Guarded Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KimmyMim
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 223/303/117
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Misc/Venting
    Total Views: 857
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 715



    Description:
       Sorry...no challenge taken here for the first person. It was a spur of the moment write. Had a bit of a verbal struggle with they hubby, and took off to get it out of my head. I'm always interested in any feedback...or none...no matter. Yeah...vent...that's what it was! LOL! Emotional state...well, uhm...I was "ticked off!" LOL...I feel better now!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGuarded Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Guarded Heart

    I'm so ticked off!
    I'm gonna blow!
    His words, they
    really hurt, ya know!

    The things he says
    are so untrue!
    His goal? To see
    my heart in two!

    Solitude!
    That's what I need,
    Some time alone
    and room to breath.

    I'll think things through
    and sort them out,
    no need for ME to
    scream and shout!

    Then I'll return
    to his proud face,
    undignified and
    lacking grace.

    I'll smile again,
    'cause don't ya see?
    I guard my heart
    with lock and key.





    Submitted on 2005-12-26 14:11:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well done and perfect rhythmn. I have a problem with rhyming well myself. I bet you wrote this in under five minutes. it must have just flowed out of you. Jeri
    | Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by Jerilynn | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very clever write that almost has a nursery rhyme feel to it
    That is not an insult
    That is a compliment
    I really enjoyed reading this
    I took this write as one speaking to that little voice in your head that always trys to bring you down but never wins because we find a way to outsmart it
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron

    And Thank You for the recent comments
    I look forward to reading more of your writes
    | Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      i reall like the ryming it seemed like a little song i would sing to tount some one like just to piss'em off ya know well any way this was good i enjoyed it but now its stuck in my head so im going to go find my ex and sing it to him

    much love
    xoxo
    that girl
    | Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by sweet sorenity | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    85670

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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