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Author: Jingles
ASL Info:    19.m.canada
Elite Ratio:    2.08 - 18 /60 /36
Words: 156
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 948
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1036


Pretty self explanitory. Not my best piece you can beat it down as much as you want.


Slowly I bleed through cauterized wounds,
The more I kick and scream,the faster I drown.
With each breath,deciet I inhale,
In the happiest of moments,I cannot be satiated.
Fake smiles,fake laughs,I've blinded you all,
If you fake reality long enough,numb is all you feel.
I fight this urge but this blade is all I've ever known.
I thought all I needed was just one breath,
One breath to stay afloat,one breath to survive.
But I haven't caught my breath since the moment I met you.
Frozen in this nightmare,me the puppet,you the pupateer,
Satin metal,open flesh,I release myself.
The past renewed,I've sinned again,
I've fallen victim to this creation,as I lay here and bleed.
At the very root of me,I know this,It's the greatest reminder,
How can you lose all hope if it was never found?I hate you for loving me,for showing me the truth.
We live to suffer,we live to fear,
I live to die.

Submitted on 2005-12-26 14:50:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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3: meh!
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  i find myself unable to really critique this. i like it, but then i cant really point out what i like. i guess its a piece you shouldnt overanalyze...
| Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
  Dark but good. I think that you might want to put some more line breaks, just to make it flow better like "frozen in this mightmare {break} me the puppet, you the puppeteer". Ok word choice, it flows rather well. It's kind of angsty but everyone needs acouple of those once in a while.
| Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by sug90 | [ Reply to This ]

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