Model Of Beauty by vanhokinshtyl

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Submission Name: Model Of Beauty dots

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Author:	vanhokinshtyl
ASL Info:	8/M/UK
Elite Ratio:	3.09 - 119/200/71
Words:	197

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Cutting or Mutilation
Total Views:	280
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1655

Description:
this is not finished, but it's very close, it's about the struggle of anorexia, if you couldn't figure that out already

Model Of Beauty dots

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She's an ego of glass,
that'll break into countless shards of sadness,
once she smashes herself again,
she's reflecting her past
on this reflecting glass
which has...
never looked so bad

She's an hour glass
a forming mold,
she's a role model,
molding egos,
"take anything in,
then everything out,"
she's up
she's down,
losing weight
to dropping pounds

with two fingers' aimed
at a targeted mouth,
she'll force her insides out,
she's up,
she's down,
with her fingers' pressed
against her throat,
this ebb, this constant flow
she'll force her insides out
losing weight
to dropping pounds,

the chandelier will fall,
and crash,
remnants left
of broken glass
you'll never fix,
you'll never find
the pieces that
you've left behind,

with two fingers' aimed
at a targeted mouth,
she'll force her insides out,
she's up,
she's down,
with her fingers' pressed
against her throat,
this ebb, this constant flow
she'll force her insides out
losing weight
to dropping pounds,

all because her outward appearance
appeared to mean more to
her than her insides

all because her outward appearance
appeared to mean more to
her than her pride

Submitted on 2005-12-27 10:12:16 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Wow this is really good you put yourself in other people shoes brilliantly and that is a real gift i wish i could do that lol i like have you keep going back to the very vivid images of glass makes the girl appear fragile and insecure it also shows shes trying to be somthing shes not and its hitting her hard really changing her life i absolutly love this poem keep it up this is definitly a favourites addition :D

Take Care Izzi xxx
| Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by fallen_angel384 | [ Reply to This ]
  hello Codee.

st1: “the ego of glass” this means to me someone who is fragile perhaps even impressionable. the second line here is awesome I love the language used. also how you keep the glass metaphor going here with verbs breaks, smashes and reflecting and still make it very sensible, that is very skilled. the ending for me means she has had a nice life with the “never look so bad”

st2: “an hour glass” this doubles for me one (the more popular) she is representative of an hour glass figure in her appearance the other is a reference to time perhaps giving a implied sense of the danger she is in. also the tragedy here, I believe, is that she is a role model that could be her group of friends or even (a) sister(s) the "take everything in and everything out" this has me feel the nature of this sickness eating then purging.

St3: this is more descriptive of the method of eating and purging. “forces her inside out” is actually for me (dare I say tasteful?) a much more reserved way of describing the act.

st4: her it is her appearance versus the health of her body in which she (in her shallowness) values appearance rather then general health and safety.

st5: here the chandelier in my perception means something of beauty that adorns a higher place (near a ceiling) and the falling means that it is brought down from that high place. the crashing is the reality that will hit and the loss health wise: physical, emotional, mental and perhaps even spiritual damage as well.

st6: here it is a repeat however the new line added this ebb, this constant flow. now I get a sense of more of an abuse here when compared with the first like stanza st3.

st7: now here her appearance is compared to her pride. which I take as a good form an overall pride in oneself as oppose the shallow vanity.

well Codee what can I say? I love this piece it means a lot to me. I wish all people would not do such horrible things to their bodies for the sake of vanity. this is a very important issue here, the write is excellent. splendid work,

~mike
| Posted on 2006-01-01 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  You did an awesome job on this one, it was great. I think that it's sad that people get so sucked into how society wants them to look like that it becomes a day-to-day obsession...and then this happens. I know someone who has problems like this. It's very sad. She always says that she has Type One Diabeties, but that's hard to believe. Anyway, this was great, keep it up.
| Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  I love that. The way you describe it is excellent. I especially like the broken glass thing. My favorite part was:

"the chandelier will fall,
and crash,
remnants left
of broken glass
you'll never fix,
you'll never find
the pieces that
you've left behind"

That's pretty... but sad. It's great how you put yourself in someone else's shoes so perfectly. Very nicely done dear (as yours always are).

-nikkki
| Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  wow. i'm speechless. i love the constant use of the glass imagery. i mean it brings in the whole notion of fragility. and the attempt to mold one's self into something else.
its hard hitting.
i loved the last three lines.
good job
| Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm commenting again to share something with you - I don't know if you've ever heard of The Matches, but they're a pretty nifty band and you may actually enjoy some of their songs, but they have on called *Sick Little Suicide* And your words kinda reminded me of theirs...And I'm going to share them with you and if you don't like 'em that's cool, too.

"There's a sick little suicide
in all that we do...
you decide, which one's for you!?

Mark my words, oh, just a little more, Sarah said,
and subtly subsistence is suicide.
Exercise and malnutrition keep curves tight,
'cause all that matters is what's outside.
So says every magazine cover which gallantly assaults
our own women and children..."

Toodles
Caribou
| Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
  Codee, you did a really good job with this - esp considering that you have a penis and all.
But wow...yeah, you blew me away with this one. I really love it. It's just one of those really relateable pieces - ya know?
So of course it's another fav (you're starting to dominate those)
You're really good at putting yourself in other people's shoes - did you know that????
Never. Stop. Writing.
-Caribou-
| Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]

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