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    dots Submission Name: Living While Deaddots

    Author: Skinwalker
    Elite Ratio:    2.62 - 36/57/28
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1267
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 663

       my first poem.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLiving While Deaddots

    the blood poured for many days as he wandered the lands
    trying to find a new place to live afar from this sand.
    every grain is that of a heated razor blade
    and all the water ,to quinch his thirst, fades.
    he sits down and watches the ants chew his flesh and he cries
    for he will never know the day of his birth or when he finally died
    he's just left to wander this land forever
    when will he find what he's looking for? never.
    for he isn't really there for he is trapped in a room full of padding and lead.
    a guard watches over his cell as he eternally wanders for freedom from his head.

    Submitted on 2004-04-26 21:46:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i love this. it could use a bit more structure, but the rhyming and imagery was incredible. you have so much talent
    | Posted on 2004-04-26 00:00:00 | by slwht | [ Reply to This ]
      I also ejoyed this. It's the best piece I've read of yours so far. A bit more honest in content. Also, the rhyming doesn't seem too forced. Nice read.
    | Posted on 2004-05-02 00:00:00 | by Casper | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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