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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Eclipsedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xeternalshadowx
    ASL Info:    17/m/pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 121/137/55
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1133
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1219



    Description:
       yet another weird one...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Eclipsedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take these scissors to my scribbled star!

    Fault at my hand of blood,
    Your destination is suffocation.
    Doused fire on a plane of leaves,
    Your elastic mold slowly stretches open.

    Romance or damnation?
    There lies an unknown soldier
    Withering and decayed.
    Judgment, join hands
    And meet the same fate.
    The last left is judgment!

    The final straw is drawn,
    Your weight still on my shoulders
    As I fall with tragic knees
    Breaking free.

    My name carved in wood!

    Suffer of blue regard
    On midnight sky,
    Of my eclipse,
    Blackened rite.

    In my eyes,
    These words do speak
    That I've been living a lie.
    Cross my arms
    And bow my head
    Wearing this heart of lead.
    Deception, out of mind;
    It's a trust I fail
    To apprehend!

    I'm trying to find the way
    For this is reality.
    Time is not an enemy
    Though I fail to see
    The night is still young
    With stars in the sky.
    The fire is still inside.

    It still burns inside...




    Submitted on 2005-12-27 12:46:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great opening. the imagery pulled out is perfect to get the intent of this piece. the tribulations being put forth by this situation.

    Fault at my hand of blood,
    Your destination is suffocation.
    Doused fire on a plane of leaves,
    Your elastic mold slowly stretches open.

    I think this second part to the piece lends itself to the helplessness being felt by being in love.

    Romance or damnation?
    There lies an unknown soldier
    Withering and decayed.


    i like that it is short and sweet. sometimes loveache poems tend to drag on too long.

    cheers
    | Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by googie | [ Reply to This ]


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