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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Clichésdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ana_Mad
    ASL Info:    19/Female/Maine, USA
    Elite Ratio:    6.86 - 33/31/15
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 198
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1107



    Description:
       I'm not sure what to say about this poem, it's certainly not my favorite.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsClichésdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pain pain, go away
    Don't come back any other day.
    May the rain fall on my head
    As the Raven said;
    Nevermore.

    If love is blind
    And only fools fall in love
    Why is it then that
    The little things in love
    Get us through?

    You can't blame gravity
    for falling in love.
    Just as you can't fly a dove
    With a single wing.

    The world knows this all,
    Then why can't I,
    the girl who lived it,
    Understand a simple turn of phrase.
    Why am I not free?

    Freedom, like this love,
    Is anything but free.
    You can buy brains
    and all the things you need,
    But no man has ever succeeded in buying love.

    I've fallen into this madness,
    This love that is genuine,
    But anything but pure.
    And without it I would be
    no more.

    Now, a note to you,
    Push aside over-used clichés,
    Understand my meaning here,
    Look instead at what it translates to.




    Submitted on 2005-12-27 13:50:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the theme behind this piece. It's an interesting way of working around clichés; instead of avoiding them - or trying to - or simply saying it's what you meant to say - so it will stay - you use them in an almost good way. I guess we can all get angry at the overly clichéd themed poems that run around on this website sometimes, besides being able to snap everybody into a void. You seem like a very smart girl besides all of this, simply being able to play around with such a deadly theme as clichés and still pull it off, although I find that this piece does not do justice to the entirety of them, it does a pretty darn good job with the ones you did pick out. My only small problem might be the aesthetics of this piece :
    "Pain pain, go away
    don't come back any other day.
    May the rain fall on my head
    as the Raven said:
    Nevermore.

    If love is blind
    and only fools fall in love,
    why is it then that
    the little things in love
    get us through.

    You can't blame gravity
    for falling in love,
    just as you can't fly a dove
    with a single wing.

    The world knows this all
    so why can't I,
    the girl whose lived it,
    understand a simple turn of phrase;
    why am I not free.

    Freedom, like this love,
    is anything but free -
    you can buy brains
    and all the things you need,
    but no man has ever succeeded
    in buying love.

    I've fallen into this madness,
    this love that is genuine
    although unpure and without it
    I would be no more.

    Now, a note to you:
    Push aside over-used clichés,
    understand my meaning here;
    look instead at what it translates to."


    I hope you understand why. I think it would do the piece much more justice if it follow a format such as the one I showed you.

    Outlaw-ed

    P.S: Thanks for the read, got a smile at the end of it.
    | Posted on 2006-10-20 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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