My Exorcism by onetruesmartass

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Submission Name: My Exorcism dots

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Author:	onetruesmartass
ASL Info:	30/F/Wa
Elite Ratio:	4.01 - 934/791/77
Words:	110

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	291
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	781

Description:
Sometimes getting away from an overbearing, manipulative, controling mother happens just that fast.

My Exorcism dots

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It happened again.
In front of everyone. Again.
Some look at me with pity,
Others with resignation.
I simply wait.
As I've done so many times before.
Heat floods my face,
Showing my humiliation
And....anger?
Yes! I'm angry!
No more doubt,
No more fear,
No more self disappointment.
Instead, I'm pissed!
I CAST THEE OUT MOTHER!
You will NOT humiliate me
You will NOT make me fear
You will NOT make me doubt ME.
I am no longer the bearer
Of your anger, your resentment.
You don't like that I stand before you,
My own person?
Go to hell.
I don't care what you think anymore.
Sweet freedom.

Submitted on 2005-12-28 18:25:24 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Oooh! Making a stand toward the parental unit. Way to stick it to da woman! Exorcism is an attention-grabbing title and excellent metaphor for this piece...you are definitely purging yourself of your mother's influence.

OK, overall, great job!!!

~Later Days~
Mel
| Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Melora | [ Reply to This ]
  Girl, did you steal my diary? Because I'm am going through this now with my mom! I loved the strenght you build up to in the poem. I love the raw and intense truth you gave concerning your feelings. I love your clarity and boldness to stand up to your mother. It was like reading myself speaking. This was powerful. It was a vital step to gain control in your life. I love this one. It is a fav for sure.

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow

You have an incredible amount of resentment toward your Mom
This is sad But I cannot and never will pass judgement on someone
I do not know your circumstances and every case is different
I hope and Pray you and Your Mother can come to Peace with each other
As Please remember
In Life we only get one set of Parents
God Bless
Your Friend
Ron
| Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  i loved the rant...! sweet freedom indeed!
i can imagine this was a very healing write for you. using the word "exorcism" was great because that is just what it is.. i applaud you for your strength and self-assurance to step
away and be your own person. brava!

love&light,
~Cat
| Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  Travi, how the hell did this slip under my roadblock?

It's great! A perfectly angry piece that is also a great idea. Bloody nicely written and your best work for a while, I was really into this.

great stuff, feel good.

be happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2006-01-01 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  I've tried to fire my parents, to keep them from always seeing me as their child, they never give up! I've fought against becoming who they are and tried to find what the true meaning they convey means in a world of faces with masks.

But exorcism, wow, you've given me a great idea, I don't want to be either one of themBut I think this vision will be tribal instead of modern day (I think it's safer)
jus' wanna be nan...

Great write, it's got healing inside and fires me up!

peace,

Nan
| Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
  Powerful piece, Traci. Sad too.

Your anger screams through in this. I don't know a great deal about your relationship with your mother, but obviously it's not all that pleasant.

There's an interesting thought progression in the poem:

First the humiliating event:
It happened again.
In front of everyone. Again.

Then the resulting anger:
Yes! I'm angry!
No more doubt,
No more fear,
No more self disappointment.

Followed by the stance:
You will NOT humiliate me
You will NOT make me fear
You will NOT make me doubt ME.

Then the logical, common, yet not strictly destined
Go to hell.
I don't care what you think anymore.

Finally, the release:
Sweet freedom.

Well written. I'm sorry it's not just poetic license.

Steve
| Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
  What makes it so hard for parents to let there children go and be there own person?

This kinda reminds me of Christina's situation with her mother.
She was babied her whole life by her and now she is having a hard time growing up.
I guess thats why I am here to help her.

You have a raw emotion her.
The reader can feel this anger for your mother.
So with that being said

Bravo

~shawn
| Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
  Mothers...some of them just never let their children go do they? And some of them let their children go too early, eh? I think this write can fit both those scenarios. I liked the "in your face"ness of it. I think you have been reading too much angry teen posts lately, HA! Nah...just giving you a hard time.

| Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  wow... thats all i can say... amazing write...

You will NOT humiliate me
You will NOT make me fear
You will NOT make me doubt ME.
I am no longer the bearer
Of your anger, your resentment.
You don't like that I stand before you,
My own person?
Go to hell.
I don't care what you think anymore.
Sweet freedom.

this part just gave me shivers... it was good... man wat a write...
| Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ]
  wow Traci awesome exorcism here I wonder if this is catholic or fundamentalist type, either way it’s very good. now I broke it up a little if you like it that way you can keep it if not you can cast me out as well hahaha

It happened again.
In front of everyone. Again.
Some look at me with pity,
Others with resignation.
I simply wait.
As I've done so many times before.

Heat floods my face,
Showing my humiliation
And...anger?
Yes! I'm angry!
No more doubt,
No more fear,
No more self disappointment.
Instead, I'm pissed!

I CAST THEE OUT MOTHER!

You will NOT humiliate me
You will NOT make me fear
You will NOT make me doubt ME.
I am no longer the bearer
Of your anger, your resentment.

You don't like that I stand before you,
My own person?
Go to hell[!]
I don't care what you think anymore.
Sweet freedom.

now the scenes are great! I’ll go by my format for easier reference. the first 6 lines set this up well and give it that tone of focus on yourself. in the next 8 lines the emotional unrest and the ills that plague, awesome! the casting out on the single line in its climax from ill on the road to wellness. the next 5 lines the winding down just a hair but still emotionally charged. and final part the closure and the wonderful freedom from BONDAGE! excellent! I do like it a lot, let me know if you make any changes or if you like it how it is. wonderful piece,

~mike
| Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Da.mn straight, baby!

I hope and pray that my children will never feel the need to pen a piece like this. But I completely understand the freedom you feel getting away from her.

You are such a strong person. You have found a way to become a beautiful, caring, wonderful soul in spite of the hell your mother has put you through.

Exorcism is a good way to describe this piece. You found yourself buried under all the little mommy noises inside your head, and have mastered your own concept of self.

Bravo, or the write, and on being you!!!

I love you!

Chell
| Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]

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