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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She Loved the Winddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jerilynn
    ASL Info:    59, woman, U.S.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 68/66/20
    Words: 313
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 941
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2224



    Description:
       Some times people love to much.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe Loved the Winddots
    -------------------------------------------



    She loved the wind.
    Wherever he went
    She would follow him.
    She could feel him
    Nudging her from behind.
    She reveled in
    His subtle caress,
    Was aroused
    By his passionate outbursts.
    Though she was still visible
    She was slowly being absorbed
    As he enveloped her
    In his consuming embrace.
    The thunder of his voice
    Drowning out the reality
    Of her own existence.
    She bent like a reed,
    Surrendering to his
    Enticing charm,
    And his unrelenting flow,
    Until there was nothing left
    But her love,
    And the wind.
    But she loved the wind

    She loved the fire
    She would turn her face
    Into his warmth,
    Feeling the glow
    Of his touch on her flesh.
    She gave him her will,
    Laying out the jewels
    Of her essence
    Before him
    On the coals of his heart,
    An offering to their love.
    Leaning into his embrace
    She was consumed
    By his smoldering passions.
    She could not see
    The ashes of her self
    As he devoured her,
    The light of her spirit
    Growing smaller as he fed.
    With bewildering innocence
    She succumbed.
    Nor could she turn away
    From his mesmerizing gaze,
    Or his lethal embrace,
    As they became one,
    Once she loved the fire.

    She loved the man
    Who was the wind,
    And the fire.
    She had seen him from afar
    Marveling at his beauty,
    Awed
    By his inexorable freedom
    As he would go
    Where he would go
    Brushing aside
    Everything in his path
    Ignoring obstacles
    Like they weren’t there,
    Leaving behind him
    Nothing but ashes,
    A past lost to all
    That crossed his path.
    She felt his love
    Like a dreamer
    She sleepwalked
    Into his all consuming
    existence,
    Joyfully allowing herself
    To be swept off her feet
    Gladly trading her soul
    For the fiery depths
    And the relentless pull
    Of this mortal





    Submitted on 2005-12-28 21:05:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow this was not what i was expecting when i read the title!

    this was kind of depressing to read... sometimes people do give all their love to one person, and lets that define who they are while losing themselves. it's sad really.

    i love the man being the wind and fire... those are two things that when you're around them you can't NOT feel... and i'm sure when she was around this man there was nothing but the man to her.
    | Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by andnow | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the metaphor fire and wind; good metaphor to compare love with! I like the strong passionate way this prose story develops, and adore the devotion and passionate love implied in the verse!
    | Posted on 2008-02-10 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good poem with lots of wonderful imagery and it carries a very passionate tone throughout. I like the metaphor you have chosen to describe the man she loves...fire and wind. I thought that was very good. I love nature and all of her incredible powers and ability and the use as a metaphor here works very well. I think you have written a very good poem here. Nice job. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice write, there are some really nice descriptions in there and that coupled with the underlying love theme made a potentially roadside poem something very unique. I love the way you've expressed this girls devotion and transcience and absorbtion. great job.
    | Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by Universal | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. It kinda reminds me of Medea from Greek mythology, but that seems an unfair analogy to you're poem. It's so much better than that. It' so cool that you could use the wind as a man, and have it seem so fitting.
    Cheers,
    ~Persephone~
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
      this is awesomely written! and you are so right. sometimes we get lost in who we are while are loving someone else. you have a wonderful writing ability.i liked the fact that you used the wind , desribing the man. good idea. original too.
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]


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