Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: HIDDEN LOVEdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: submarine
    Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 128/91/45
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1001
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 712



    Description:
       this poem i wrote a wile ago.... when i really liked this guy but i know that if he knows it would not be rite..... its a long story... but i have to wait for the rite time....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHIDDEN LOVEdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I LOVE YOU,
    BUT I CAN'T TELL,
    I WANT TO BADLY,
    BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO.
    I PRAY TO OD FOR YOU,
    THAT'S ALL I CAN DO,
    AND MY LOVE WILL REMAIN.....
    HIDDEN.

    I CLOSE MY EYES,
    AND I SEE YOU,
    I'M IN A CROWD,
    BUT I STILL FEEL YOU.
    I LOOK UP AT THE HEAVENS,
    AND OFFER UP A PRAYER,
    TO HELP KEEP THIS LOVE....
    HIDDEN.

    WHEN I LOOK AT YOU,
    MY HEART SWELLS.
    YOUR EYES....
    MAKE ME WANT TO BURST.
    AS I TURN AWAY,
    I ASK GOD WHY?
    AND WITH TEARS IN MY EYES, I KNOW,
    THIS LOVE WILL HAVE TO STAY....
    HIDDEN.






    Submitted on 2005-12-28 23:51:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this, I took this as an isecurity issue, for me, I'm just fearful of rejection... and I'm pretty sure that this has a seperate meaning, but I just took it that way... I loved your work, I loved how you said hidden in the stanza's, it made it complete, it reiterated that the time needs to be right, when you finally let him know that you have a feeling for him... but umm why is this all in caps???
    | Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by vanhokinshtyl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    85873

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry