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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Awakeningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Silver20G
    ASL Info:    28/M/Wisconsin
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 158/109/25
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 702
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 732



    Description:
       I wrote this when I realized my skill.
    I was sparring with a friend of mine.
    He has won many championships and was about to go televised as a mix martial artist K1. While we were fighting I got into a sort of zone, I felt unbeatable, invincible even. That fight delayed his entry into K1. I felt good, I was drunk with my ability and it took an old lesson to put what happened in perspective.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Awakeningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I start to belive in my power.
    I move like never before.
    We have been fighting for hours.
    And I yearn for more.

    Can you feel the energy.
    It frightens all warriors.
    A destruction capable entity.
    A strength reminiscence of folklore.

    Can you grasp the light.
    Does the darkness make you afraid.
    Embrace the full might.
    and only the weak will be slayed.

    Fear poisons the mind.
    While the body's corrupting.
    Open your eyes this time.
    Witness the soul's erupting.

    And when this is done.
    Be sure to remember.
    This power is great, but
    nothing compared to the wielder.




    Submitted on 2005-12-29 05:07:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was a nice poem. Flow was overall good. Thanks for sharing this 'feeling'. I'd like to know how it would feel. The last stanza was a bit vague to me. It was a bit less than the other stanza's.
    DZ
    ps thanks for your sympathy ('I won't forget you')
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
      i usally don't really care for poetry about this subject, but your words show depth and meaning, there not hollow phases written to empress, they came from somewhere deep inside...
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by suicidalacts72 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good one
    In this one I believe you were saying listen and learn from others as that knowledge will carry you to happiness
    Very Nicely Said
    Great Work
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      When you can get in that lyrical zone...there is no feeling like it. You can do many things with words and it does feel like it gives you power. Like when you get done spittin all around you turns to gold from it! Ya know?

    This was great for you just beginning. I am going to be afraid of you after some time with practice...okay maybe not...but...it sounded good! LOL

    Much love,

    Li
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Effective poem- something like 'survival of the fittest'.
    the description adds to its weight.

    "Fear poisons the mind.
    While the body's corrupting.
    Open your eyes this time.
    Witness the soul's erupting.

    And when this is done.
    Be sure to remember.
    This power is great, but
    nothing compared to the wielder."

    two better stanzas.
    -Devrath
    | Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by Devrath | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice topic. Very inspirational and every moment like this is always fun to experience.

    Some of the rhymes seemed forced in a few spots. Warriors and folklore dont really blend well together as compared to the overall scheme of the write. I didnt really feel the last stanza. It just doesnt have that "umph" that it needed to bring the knockout punch to the write, ya know? Anyway, thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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