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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flowers hide from desert sundots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dublhelix
    ASL Info:    18/m/perth australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 43/36/15
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 758
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1279



    Description:
       huh. broke up with gf again.

    comments? broke rhyming scheme is intentional.

    what do you tihink of the imagery? the flowers? overused?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlowers hide from desert sundots
    -------------------------------------------


    like a flower across the deserts face
    rare things the sun will not embrace,
    attempt to succor and strengthen thus.
    to what avail? as seen but thus
    the flower, in the desert blooms,
    but soon to die. forever doomed.
    and thus our small romance.

    rebel against the heart made tough,
    not by hardship.
    but by plenty.... without hell,
    heaven withhold its glory
    the contradiction comes to hoary,
    and to see the one we need the other.

    What is hell if there is no heaven to dream of?




    when with you i make my first mistake.
    greedily i race towards the goal.
    i thirst! i try to drink the lake.
    when perfection lays in just the bowl.
    to saturate the ground but kills the flowers.
    the desert sun trys to give them food.
    but kills the fun and ruins the mood.




    i am alone again. but alas
    ive learnt my lesson. love will pass.
    if i do not give it room to grow!
    hardships cause strength in a beast.
    fight past the problems in its years
    and past the hardships, then at least
    it learns to survive. and face its fears.




    Submitted on 2005-12-29 07:01:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this poem. It had a unique rhythm which I loved and the content was very potent and complete, love the metaphor using the desert. This is was a good read. You made me want to continue and then ponder. Love writes that keep me lingering. Great Job!
    | Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by Mytee | [ Reply to This ]
      Subpar, but yet intriquing. I like the part about learning your lesson, love will pass, if you do not give it room to grow. Try to revise it and see if you can smooth out the grammar errors and the unnecessary stuff. Good job. xoxoxo
    | Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by UNIQUEWOODS69 | [ Reply to This ]


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