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[title won't fit]

Author: painofthanatos
Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86
Words: 217
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
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Bytes: 1349


Title: I Never Thought I Could Enjoy Listening to Tori Amos

Okay, you guys don't have to like this, but I can't stop thinking about that night yeah....
For the record, I used to hate Tori Amos, well not really hate, I just couldn't enjoy listening to her, now I listen all the time....right now even, lol.

[title won't fit]

Two hours before the dance
We're not worried about
Our hair, our dresses, our make-up
I'm following you deeper into the woods
You said you wanted to show me something
Curiousity has always gotten the best of me

We come to a leaning tree and I follow you up
Left foot, right foot
Left foot, right foot
I'm terrified of heights
5 feet feels like 5 thousand
You put your hand in mine and I know I'm safe
I sit down and you stand up
You sing and you dance
-I know what angels sound like-

You smile and you sit real close
And for the first time you really kiss me
We've both thought of this moment for over a year now
Sitting in the twilight it's more amazing then I could have imagined

Suddenly we remember what tonight is
And we race back to your house
We change in seperate rooms - your parents have always suspected...
But it's so natural to wrap our arms around each other for a few pictures

We spend half the night under the stars
They faded behind your smile
Four hours later we made it home and back to your bedroom

You turned on Tori Amos
You turned off the lights

Submitted on 2005-12-29 13:30:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  hehe, this is so cool. I loved the scene that you painted in my head in the beginning. Great stuff. I can just imagine 'him' dancing and singing...hehe..anywayz..this was a really great write...

| Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by Raindrops | [ Reply to This ]
  Thats lovely
The end kind of made me laugh because of the description.
Thats so cute though. The wording is pretty.
My favorite part is:

"Two hours before the dance
We're not worried about
Our hair, our dresses, our make-up
I'm following you deeper into the woods
You said you wanted to show me something
Curiousity has always gotten the best of me"

I don't know why, but I really love that part.
Very beautifully done

| Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  ‘They faded behind your smile’, love it, reminds me of, ‘and the trees and bushes about the place did seem like mid night at noon day’. Total visual blur, the moment you fall in love. I agree with what Devrath said about imagery. ‘I'm following you deeper into the woods’ would make a nice simile like ‘I’m following you deeper into the woods, into the thicket, the new sprung saplings of our love.’
| Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by PaulHudson | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a really good write
I personally could never judge someones work to be below average
I find beauty in all poetry
There is no such thing as a bad poem
they are too filled with emotion and love to be considered negative
I too Love Tori Amos
Her voice is so soothing
I remember when I found her music I felt like
I was breaking Fremm
From the Silence of all these years
God Bless
Your Friend
| Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Not a great write. Everybody knows what to expect from these works- you might have an entirely different or perfect image for this this one- but it JUST did not impress. See, the feeling could've been made greater if you would have used some kind of visuals, you know- some objects to compare, relate- so the reader actually puts 'himself/herself' into the image of you and THEN begins to feel, not just graze trough the lines.
What you've done here is just spoken of things what we have already seen and done- and that too in predictable verses.
Below average work.
| Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by Devrath | [ Reply to This ]
  the typo's are there.. and the structure is a lil warped. but it still has a decent flow...
but i like all the aspects of 'love' that you do bring up. for example, you talk of love. and of how one is willing to overcome so many hurdles to be with the one you love. and how the whole world seems just perfect etc etc etc... its very realistic and relatable.
| Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]
  hmmm this had my singing and swaying "secret lovers ...yea...that's what we are..."

but all joking aside i really enjoyed the imagery this created...only for me I saw the two in the trees as small children...preteens...
not sure if this was meant to describe "puppy love" or what...

p.s. you may also want to fix some of the typo's

| Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]

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