Description: Title: I Never Thought I Could Enjoy Listening to Tori Amos
Okay, you guys don't have to like this, but I can't stop thinking about that night today...so yeah....
For the record, I used to hate Tori Amos, well not really hate, I just couldn't enjoy listening to her, now I listen all the time....right now even, lol.
Two hours before the dance
We're not worried about
Our hair, our dresses, our make-up
I'm following you deeper into the woods
You said you wanted to show me something
Curiousity has always gotten the best of me
We come to a leaning tree and I follow you up
Left foot, right foot
Left foot, right foot
I'm terrified of heights
5 feet feels like 5 thousand
You put your hand in mine and I know I'm safe
I sit down and you stand up
You sing and you dance
-I know what angels sound like-
You smile and you sit real close
And for the first time you really kiss me
We've both thought of this moment for over a year now
Sitting in the twilight it's more amazing then I could have imagined
Suddenly we remember what tonight is
And we race back to your house
We change in seperate rooms - your parents have always suspected...
But it's so natural to wrap our arms around each other for a few pictures
We spend half the night under the stars
They faded behind your smile
Four hours later we made it home and back to your bedroom
Thats lovely The end kind of made me laugh because of the description. Thats so cute though. The wording is pretty. My favorite part is:
"Two hours before the dance We're not worried about Our hair, our dresses, our make-up I'm following you deeper into the woods You said you wanted to show me something Curiousity has always gotten the best of me"
I don't know why, but I really love that part. Very beautifully done
‘They faded behind your smile’, love it, reminds me of, ‘and the trees and bushes about the place did seem like mid night at noon day’. Total visual blur, the moment you fall in love. I agree with what Devrath said about imagery. ‘I'm following you deeper into the woods’ would make a nice simile like ‘I’m following you deeper into the woods, into the thicket, the new sprung saplings of our love.’
This is a really good write I personally could never judge someones work to be below average I find beauty in all poetry There is no such thing as a bad poem they are too filled with emotion and love to be considered negative Anyways I too Love Tori Amos Her voice is so soothing I remember when I found her music I felt like I was breaking Fremm From the Silence of all these years God Bless Your Friend Ron
Not a great write. Everybody knows what to expect from these works- you might have an entirely different or perfect image for this this one- but it JUST did not impress. See, the feeling could've been made greater if you would have used some kind of visuals, you know- some objects to compare, relate- so the reader actually puts 'himself/herself' into the image of you and THEN begins to feel, not just graze trough the lines. What you've done here is just spoken of things what we have already seen and done- and that too in predictable verses. Below average work. -Devrath.
the typo's are there.. and the structure is a lil warped. but it still has a decent flow... but i like all the aspects of 'love' that you do bring up. for example, you talk of love. and of how one is willing to overcome so many hurdles to be with the one you love. and how the whole world seems just perfect etc etc etc... its very realistic and relatable.