Description: i don't know, just felt like writing about love...a love that no longer loves
Just a man and a woman -------------------------------------------
We’re just a man and a woman
sitting in a room
Don’t fall in love with me
Love’s never held my hand
Love’s never said my name
Love’s never kissed my lips
Never
Yet in needle dropping silence
we hold conversation
Complete and whole
through sight and thoughts
Man and woman
in a room
Don’t fall in love
Desperately pleading to be left alone
with loneliness
Already surrendered to its emptiness
Which fills my heart,
so as love has no need to reside
I cannot lie
Openly acknowledging a love that
once lived
but has died
Strongly refusing to resurrect
what once was
but now is
only on your part
Timing not quite right with the stars
Just a man and a woman talking
through the sparkles of their eyes
A thousand questions asked
answered only by guesses,
in search for finding the words to vocalize
Contradicting feelings inside
These same feelings now divorced from
meaning
A loss of meaning
combined with reasoning
reminds me of
the man’s woman
Now just man and woman
sitting
Don’t fall
this si reaolly good Tinasha, the word play is clever ----so as love has no need to reside I cannot lie----I like that----reminds me of me a little-ha- this is a steady progression of feelings basically in the end saying dont fall in love....hmmm I can no longer carry you--hmmmm I Am still wondering what you exactly meant by that line--I am working on it and will get backl to you--otherwise really a good one and one of your most intriguing pieces. Lt
I found myslef tripping a little over the lack of punctuaion. For the most part the line breaks are enough, but I think a period here and there would really punch this up for your readers.
The form works well for this piece. I love creative spacing, but most people over-use it. You have found the perfect middle ground. Using it to help bring across the emotion and thought progression without detracting from the piece.
I think this peom is beautiful. Your writing style allows each line to bleed into the next unusually smoothly :
"Desperately pleading to be left alone with loneliness Already surrendered to its emptiness Which fills my heart, so as love has no need to reside I cannot lie"
I feel like the simplicity only adds to the effect of the poem. The only thing I felt might be changed would be the lines :
"These same feelings now divorced from meaning A loss of meaning combined with reasoning"
Maybe the second usage of "meaning" would be altered, but that's probably not necessary either. I don't have a strong critique of this poem, as there is little I find wrong with it. Very nice work.
Submission Name: Just a man and a woman
