this is way out dated fifi, but i'm back lol...just reading more of your work, and i think you should get more into Haiku...your good at it. and as for myth's self indulgence in sharing their lack of self esteem...you know your good...so just have a good laugh at it
This is a good message, and provides a creative metaphor. It's like that sort of nostalgia-ish feeling we get when we don't see our loved ones, and how in our eyes we long to keep them in our view. I like it :D. The only problem I have is the last line... Is there some different way you can reword it? Something doesn't seem right... Try different word usage. But other than that, your poem is simple and powerful. Nice piece :D.
no that last comment was unfounded and totally untrue shove it myth whatever your name is fifi just write back and say thanks so you'll not get in trouble but don't respond other than that. (sorry when i get mad i tend to get bossy but im not mad at you so yeah) any way i thought this was pretty good considering i don't like haikus thats a pretty good comment as far as i'm concerned. any way nice write keep it up and don't listen to jelous people like myth something or other Crymson Regrets