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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Back to Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: submarine
    Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 128/91/45
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 969
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 791



    Description:
       why is getting over someone so difficult... especially when they are the reason for u havin a broken heart...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBack to Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You said it was over,
    That it would not work.
    You broke my heart,
    And turned your back,
    From this beautiful world we had.

    Our very own Paradise,
    It was falling apart.
    The beauty that was once there
    was all gone,
    And I was left alone.

    Wanted to look into those eyes,
    Cause i know they never lie.
    But you Turned away
    And left me wondering, why?

    I know i'll never love again,
    However hard i deny,
    There's a voice inside saying,
    He's gonna be the only one.

    Its been quiet a while now,
    I try not to think of you,
    Get pre occupied with other things,
    But still my poor heart,
    It runs back to you.




    Submitted on 2005-12-30 09:23:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed reading this piece - why? Because it related to all those things that we feel when these emotions hit us. It has happened to most of us - and to some of us, it has happened more than once. I'm sure since this has happend, you have moved on to bigger and brighter things. It's all about time - time heals all wounds. And while that may sound over used and under rated, it is the honest truth. Your poem gives light to a world that we have all felt, and for that, I must commend you...
    Kelly
    | Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]
      It will all subside, believe me. This is beautiful piece. It's tone may be a little weak for my liking, but as a poem it was relevantly good. If I were to nitpick I'd say it lacked emotion, but for someone with a broken heart, I think that's forgivable.

    You'll stand up and look at the world, and love once more.

    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this it has real emotion to it. You put a lot of effort in to this didn't you. I think you could put more feeling into it and make it feel more real.
    | Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by sheltie | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    85980

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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