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    dots Submission Name: offspringdots

    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 800
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 676

       yeah,......... just some thoughts as usual every so often and probobly not often enough but always right on time for the holidays.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.



    You couldn’t possibly understand
    I‘m starting not to care
    Time is not at hand
    ask me…
    I'll probably say
    I was never there.
    has become
    something more
    more than ever allowed before.
    I ate my limbs,
    parts of who I am,
    too writhing in guilt,
    the obsession
    the caress
    a much bigger mess
    maybe it might be better
    to just forget
    that I was even ever there


    Submitted on 2005-12-31 07:05:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh Mike,
    This is what u do well. As I have said a hundred times before, when ur heart is there, u can see it, feel it, hear it in your words. When u write like this it just pours out of u and there are no cute little clichés or rhyme schemes or rhythms to get bogged down in. You know I love your sense of humor and dig your funky vibe but when I read these, I smile not because ur amusing me but because u r touching me.

    Eh yeah i probably coulda said that one better.

    And by the way, Hi.

    | Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by pinurplepassion | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you and I are in the same place in our hearts. Wounded and well . . . stuck, maybe. Alone in the dark wrestling with our demons with no hope for something better to come along because it's all just [censored] anyway.

    I try not to allow myself moments of self-pity because really, a man doesn't wallow like that, (much better to scream on the way down into the pit, a silent scream behind tight lips is even better).

    This isn't cloaked at all, so there's really not much more for me to say except I feel your pain, bro.

    | Posted on 2006-04-12 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this one. i liked the reactions that you've gotten from it too. lol. i agree with the last comment...morbid is a good word to describe some of the imagery you created. but it was just brilliant because the lines...

    I ate my limbs,
    parts of who I am

    brought an immediate cringe to my stomach, which i'm sure reflects the cringe in your stomach that appears to have only one way of relieving. you poored yourself into this one. it didn't come off as one of those poems that people just vent through, but all kinds of emotions are tied into so few words. regret really stands out. i just love your ending...forget....what's incredible about forgetting, it's an instant relief, because one is no longer aware that they even have something to hurt over. but we both know it's not that easy. you just know i loved it, like most of your works of art! my thoughts are with you.
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by Tinasha | [ Reply to This ]
      There will always be the few memories that will haunt you and always lurk in the shadows. All we can do is have the strength to ignore them.

    this was a very morbid write! I was kinda creeped out a lil bit! But...when I look at the name of the author...I understand. LOL

    You are still doing the things that made me like you. You have a style all of your own and do not care what others may think of it!

    Good job!

    li li
    | Posted on 2006-01-01 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's funny isn't it? How the horrid memories are the ones that stick in your mind, and the good ones are the ones that seem to get lost. I screwed up a couple of years ago and lost contact with my daughter, and i can't regain contact with her now and it feels exactly the way you have put down on paper.
    I ate my limbs,
    parts of who I am,
    too writhing in guilt,
    the obsession
    the caress
    a much bigger mess
    This part here hit home so hard it felt like i'd been hit by a frieght train. An excellent piece, the words; suberb, the presentation; perfect.
    The only negitive i offer is "probably" is spelt with an "a" not an "o".
    Take Care,
    | Posted on 2006-01-01 00:00:00 | by corruptedspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      Never forget. Perhaps memories are all you have, and they seem to fade with time, but they are your memories, your time. Forgetting doesn't change anything, because facts can not be changed.

    I can't begin to imagine the hurt. My son was taken from me for four excrutiating months. I thought I was going to implode into nothingness.

    You have made it impossible for me to give this an unbiased review, da.mn it!

    You're in my thoughts,

    | Posted on 2005-12-31 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      Well shyte. I have some basic background on this and I just can't imagine what you're going thru right now.
    Don't forget. Whatever else you do in life, don't forget because some day, they will come looking for answers and you'd better have them.
    This piece is sad, angry, frustrated and heartbreaking, all the things I'm sure you're feeling right now. Losing them would be like losing limbs, only more painful. I don't know if there's anything I can do besides listen, but if you want, you know where I am.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]

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