This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Summer Rain


Author: Fraser
ASL Info:    26
Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 30 /55 /35
Words: 84
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 784
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 509



Description:


this is a poem about a man finding joy in nature. he just lets loose and finds himself


Summer Rain



A light drizzle on the window sill
birds pecking at the warm dirt
there is a knawing boredom that rests inside
A man is trapped there
he steps outside and runs around
laughing and giggling
with mouth agape and eyes to the sky
he lets the water sit in his mouth
there is a boyish fun blossoming in his heart
this fun he's searched for for so long
he's stumbled upon it in the summer rain
and this man or boy is joyful again




Submitted on 2005-12-31 14:05:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  i Agree with the other comments but i like the fact that it leaves us wondering! It'sa really snap shot of time like you described a few minutes in the mans life and it leaves us thinking about the before and the after.
| Posted on 2005-12-31 00:00:00 | by Topher Vine | [ Reply to This ]
  not bad i would elaborte! but i like it ya i like natue 2 its fun and peacefull! good job! this is pretty cool!
~akaila evonne~
| Posted on 2005-12-31 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice rythm, and good consistency. It kinda ends as if there could have been more to say but other than that not bad at all.
| Posted on 2005-12-31 00:00:00 | by MaxHam | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



86080