Description: A glimpse into my mind. I basically wrote my feelings before they escaped then edited it into a poem as i was going. I find it hard to just sit down and write poetry. i have to be in the mood, so i wasn't prepared to just let my feelings slip away.
Anyway, this has been me for the past 18 months, slowly degrading into the empty, pathetic thing that i am. Plz comment on the poem only.
Empty -------------------------------------------
My vacant soul,
Forever disturbed by the corrupt droplets of water
That never cease.
Relentless and unforgiving.
My outer shell retains its integrity,
But my inner self struggles to live on.
Those who care
Give only good intentions
As they desperately try to persuade me
To do what they think is right, not what is right.
Those with no heart,
Simply add to the strain.
My mind constantly wanders.
Stumbling, tripping, falling
As it struggles through the darkness
Desperately searching for a meaning.
But part of me knows
That there is no meaning to be found.
I am ever fearful,
Of those around me.
Of life and its meaning.
Of what I will become.
The only thing that I care not about
Is when death’s grasp will tighten around me.
I know that my stay
In this twisted world
Will be cut short
By my own hand.
I only hope that it is only my life
That is taken as a result.
This demented world
Mocks me,
Teases me,
Attacks my very soul.
The droplets of water so small
Have eroded all that I have become.
I can feel the emptyness echo-ing in between the lines you write. i like the second set of words because i understand the outward image holding up apearences when you feel like letting go. I also like the think is right what is right line.. everybody has their own standards some set by outside politics and some by moral ...Anyhow.. not to ramble, I really did enjoy this . I can relate.
I think that it is a very good poem. I can see the heart that you put into it. This writing lets me see you put your thought into words and to see that poems can be made out of random thoughts, espcially if you have them a lot. Your poem is great. ~kristen
Submission Name: Empty
