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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Numbdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet sorenity
    ASL Info:    24/f/ Ga
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 211/221/58
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 990
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 891



    Description:
       ok so this is a pice i wrote a few years back and i think the way you think the day after a trip is rather refreshing

    fyi this was written while i was commeing off an acid trip


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNumbdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your whole life you’ve sat in one spot hoping, praying you were going somewhere, that your not stuck there for ever. But you are, its just moving slowly around you the whole time your motionless stick in a parallel universe in a comatose state. Just laying , dreaming a life you didn’t want in the first place. There is no end to this dream, no sweet awareness , until this person finally shrivels up.Your own savior. There is nothing anyone can possible do to awake you. The moon, the people , smells colors textures, objects they are all just figments of your imagination. Nothing is real but at the same time nothing is fake. You are your creator there is no peace in your mind till this person has disappeared , been erased ,forgotten. Then you start a new dream it just repeats its self continually. You must kill, must die for your peace but your stuck in that comatose state.




    Submitted on 2006-01-01 11:52:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      SCREW ALL THE SPELL CHECK PEOPLE! DANG they totally missed the point to this poem.
    I can totally relate to feeling this way. I remember always feeling like I was alive but in like a de sujua state where it was half real half fake....
    long story....But great write!
    | Posted on 2012-05-18 00:00:00 | by janekostman09 | [ Reply to This ]
      First of all well done for writing down all you see hear and feel on a comedown cos when i went on one i was wasted the next day and me and my mate got into a fight over the last cigarette but anyway a black eye and his broken nose later we were cool. Back to the piece.......... I think the only possible tyhing that could make it a little more readable is if it was broken down a little but other than that i like it
    John
    x
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]
      You did this off an acid trip <Sarcasm> I could never tell <Sarcasm> But seriously I like it, it made me laugh but that could be the thought of you writing this on a down...makes me laugh!
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by irvine_valentin | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah you sure didn't put this through the spell check did ya ? anyway yeah thi sort of piece has been done to death I mean how many ways can you really say I am comatosed in a world that just revolves around me day after day -ya know? But you did seem to make it your own voice with the nothing is real and nothing is fake thing--thast is an interesting take on the whole shin-dig thats for sure so not bad but I still havent read anything from you yet that I know is in you somewhere--I mean we talk so I know how you are and what you tend to like I think---and none of what I have read reflects the person that I know to be deep and creative and quite poriginal so geyt back to your fukn drawing board and make me a masterpiece
    lamemansterms--
    | Posted on 2006-01-06 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha acid trip nice. very good poem though it was really well trippy no pun intended. Yes well you know how it is. Damn, I wish I could trip hahaha
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by MaxHam | [ Reply to This ]
      ok when a piece has a host of needed corrections instead of droning on about how such and such line here needs to be this and the thingy here needs to be a watchamacallit, I have adopted copying the entire piece and fixing it up. now some of these are spelling mistakes and others are using the wrong word such as “their” when it should be “there”
    ~~~~~~~
    Your whole life [you’ve] sat in one spot [hoping], praying you were going [somewhere], that your not stuck [there] for ever. But you are, its just [moving] [slowly] around you the whole time your motionless [stick] in a parallel universe in a comatose state. Just laying , dreaming a life you [didn’t] want in the first place. [There] is no end to this dream[,] no sweet [awareness] , [until] this person finally [shrivels] up. [Your] own savior. There is nothing anyone can possible do to awake you. The moon, the people , smells colors textures, objects they are all just figments of your imagination. Nothing is real but at the same time nothing is fake. You are your creator [there] is no peace in your mind till this person has disappeared , been erased ,forgotten. Then you start a new dream it just [repeats] its self [continually]. You must kill[,] must die for your peace but your stuck in that comatose state.
    ~~~~~~~
    now contextually it is an interesting piece once one can get past the errors. it seems like a person trying to clear oneself of obstacles be it other people that are taking up residence in the mind or perhaps the own ego. it reminds me a lot of scientology. very nice and please if you do a quick copy and paste of my corrections don’t forget to remove the brackets [ ] when you are done.


    ~mike
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      well...

    hmmm...
    a hard piece to comment on. I sort of understand that color, and smell is not real but nothing is fake, and blah blah blah.

    P.S. There was a lot of grammar /spelling mistakes, but so what.

    Avril54
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by Avril54 | [ Reply to This ]


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