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Author: curiosityskitty
ASL Info:    31/F/TN
Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 149 /149 /30
Words: 189
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 857
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1240


forgive any typos--it's late.


Locked away inside his self
Imprisoned by his fears
The piercing cry within his head
Is the only voice he hears

Memories of moments past
Haunt his shattered mind
Many times he’s tried and failed
To leave these thoughts behind

Unable to deny the pain
His spirit knows no peace
He longs to close his eyes and sleep
And bring his soul release

These memories consume him whole
Her face haunts every dream
He can’t take back what he has done
He can’t forget her scream

He knew when he first saw her face
An angel she must be
Body and soul they would be one
She was his only need

But she scoffed at his request for love
Her affection she withheld
Obsession grew to blood-lust forged
From the anger that he felt

Scorned, he wanted sweet revenge
And with clouded judgment planned
He carried out his wicked deed
Her blood was on his hands

Then he sat beside her shallow grave
And said his last goodbyes
The angel – now forever his
Could not, this bond, deny

Submitted on 2006-01-01 23:23:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Wonderful plot twist at the end I must admit. The subtle offering just enough information to tell what happened allows the reader to imagine what exactly went on. The rhyme and verse was well calculated and added to the effectiveness of your words. It's also structured much like a story, with a beginning, middle, and end, which isn't too common in alot poetry, as alot is just an explosion of emotion, such is not the case here. You were able to keep good structure and not let emotion getin the way of your story. You may want to make it more, or less graphic, depending on the effect you want on the reader.
| Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by ParanoidParadox | [ Reply to This ]

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