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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Obsessiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: curiosityskitty
    ASL Info:    30/F/TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 145/149/30
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 229
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1232



    Description:
       forgive any typos--it's late.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsObsessiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Locked away inside his self
    Imprisoned by his fears
    The piercing cry within his head
    Is the only voice he hears

    Memories of moments past
    Haunt his shattered mind
    Many times he’s tried and failed
    To leave these thoughts behind

    Unable to deny the pain
    His spirit knows no peace
    He longs to close his eyes and sleep
    And bring his soul release

    These memories consume him whole
    Her face haunts every dream
    He can’t take back what he has done
    He can’t forget her scream

    He knew when he first saw her face
    An angel she must be
    Body and soul they would be one
    She was his only need

    But she scoffed at his request for love
    Her affection she withheld
    Obsession grew to blood-lust forged
    From the anger that he felt

    Scorned, he wanted sweet revenge
    And with clouded judgment planned
    He carried out his wicked deed
    Her blood was on his hands

    Then he sat beside her shallow grave
    And said his last goodbyes
    The angel – now forever his
    Could not, this bond, deny




    Submitted on 2006-01-01 23:23:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wonderful plot twist at the end I must admit. The subtle offering just enough information to tell what happened allows the reader to imagine what exactly went on. The rhyme and verse was well calculated and added to the effectiveness of your words. It's also structured much like a story, with a beginning, middle, and end, which isn't too common in alot poetry, as alot is just an explosion of emotion, such is not the case here. You were able to keep good structure and not let emotion getin the way of your story. You may want to make it more, or less graphic, depending on the effect you want on the reader.
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by ParanoidParadox | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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