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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wonderfully Endless Thingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 318
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 885
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1900



    Description:
       This uses several devices to give it the feel of a pattern: rhyme, near rhyme, consonance and assonance. It is long at forty-five lines. However, that has nothing to do with the title.

    At a glance this may appear to be a children's story. Although, there may be something buried in it that is waiting to sprout.

    I hope you enjoy it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWonderfully Endless Thingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the circle of the city square
    A girl planted a magic seed.
    It was a silly little whim.
    The old folks grinned in sympathy.

    She said it was a love seed
    given to her by an old hag
    that had passed the edge of town
    giving out small bags.

    She was told it would sprout
    and spread wide into a giant tree
    with fruits of love hanging low.
    They only needed to wait and see.

    The town folks hungered for love.
    Little could be found because of drought.
    They wanted such a thing to be true
    but childish dreams do not pan out.

    Each day the girl came with what water
    she could find, then she'd tend and weed.
    She spoke to anyone that listened about
    how grand a tree of love would be.

    Some say it was a miracle,
    and that day the skeptics went mute,
    in the city's center they awoke to find
    a tree hanging with amorous fruit.

    There was more than enough for everyone.
    The people gathered, planning and
    chattering while deciding what to do.
    There was only one appropriate action.

    They had to disburse the fruit,
    let each person have two pieces.
    They got one to pass along.
    and then another one to keep .

    If a piece was given to them,
    they'd have two again.
    So they repeated the process until
    all but their one was given and gone.

    The exchange goes on today.
    They sing, in this a truth does ring,
    love is very magical, plentiful
    wonderfully endless thing.

    Packaged within these words
    is a small bag with one seed.
    I have grown up to be an old hag,
    but stop me if you have a needů

    for love.




    Submitted on 2006-01-02 05:39:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Chrystine- I truly wish love could be spread this way- wouldnt it be great! Everyone could have some- and no one would be left out- and even when the "fruit" is all gone- the seeds still remain- What a great poem- I really enjoyed it- and think it would make an awesome children's book- along the lines of the classic book "The giving tree" (know which one I mean?) truly a great write- Take care- Heather
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by delusional | [ Reply to This ]
      Chrystine
    This is really beautiful
    This write shows how one heart can create enough Love for a whole city
    It only takes a little bit of strength for someone to share the love they have inside
    This in return starts a cycle that eventually will lead to World Peace
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, this was a neat and fun read. I liked the little story and the way you expressed it into the sentiment you were trying to describe. It worked out well in a simple and delicate way. Cool beans maynard! Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely story/poem chrystine...i think that pure hope and innocence still lies within us all...some are just too scared to allow it to be, for fear of being disapointed...but its still there...great love can come from such simple acts of faith and i think that your story demonstrates that perfectly...thx for sharing...stormy
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      Well that was a sweet and insightful piece I must say. I'll not delve for hidden meanings or messages right now because I think it held up well and was a pleasure to read as it was. I thought the character was very well discribed and everything came together nicely. Tying it up with the writer becoming the old hag was a great touch. Beautiful work! Dan
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Childesh maybe but isn't there a bit of a child in all of us,"I have grown up to be an old hag," thought that line rather amusing the write itself was done in such away as to appeal to both the adult and the child within us all I like it keep tapping those keys
    adnil
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...gotta love that children's rhyme style ^_^ loved this line the most:

    love is very magical, plentiful
    wonderfully endless thing.

    simply because its simple and yet so very true ^_^ can't even describe properly how this write struck me. Guess i'm just lost for words? haha anyway i'll just some it up in this two words...Love it! ^_^

    - Fallen
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by Fallen One | [ Reply to This ]
      when i read this poem it reminded me of this poem:
    smiling is infectious
    you catch it like the flu
    when someone smiled at me today
    i started smiling too
    i passed around the corner
    and someone saw my grin
    when he smiled i realized
    id passed it on to him
    i thought about that smile
    then realized what its worth
    a single smile just like mine
    could travel around the earth
    so if you feel a smile begin
    dont leave it undetected
    quick! lets start an eidemic
    and get the world infected

    to mee, the hidden message is spreading your love to other people where it is not expected...and then having that love once again be spread by those you spread it to. its like, in all odds the goodness survives and you change the feelings of people.

    i like the way the story is told in like a childs nursery book. childrens books often contain the everyday morals we forget...the ones that seem unimportant to the naked eye as we get older
    xoxoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]


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    86193

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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