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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Diseasedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: metalman_21
    ASL Info:    17/m/NE
    Elite Ratio:    2.58 - 30/42/17
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 699
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 807



    Description:
       You have to search for the meaning on this one. It's pretty deep.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Diseasedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Where are we going?
    Alone in this world, with nowhere to turn.
    Nobody to run to, and nobody to trust.
    A perversion of the Truth.
    Fallacies of life no longer fall on deaf ears.
    Worthwhile ramblings are shunned,
    and now.....silence./

    Engulfed if flames,
    but never burn.
    Encased in Ice,
    but cannot freeze.
    Lost in burden.
    Cut the strings.
    Burn the bridges.
    My disease./

    Handcuffs.
    Shackels on the hands of a priest.
    Drawn into darkness,
    by the will of a higher power./

    Engulfed in flames,
    but never burn.
    Encased in Ice,
    but never freeze.
    Lost in Burden.
    Cut the Strings.
    Burn the bridges.
    My disease./




    Submitted on 2006-01-02 06:38:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem sounds like it could be turned into a great punk rock song. My favorite part would have to be "Lost in Burden. Cut the Strings. Burn the bridges. My disease." I'm not sure what it is...I guess I like the choppiness of it. Yet, I'm not quite sure of the meaning but it could be that I have missed it. I don't feel like this is complete. You should add more...
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by devonbracy | [ Reply to This ]
      The point is lost in the repetition I believe. It serves as filler here, and I believe you need to come up with a few more stanzas so that the meaning and emotion can be a little more clear. This chorus(?) uses really interesting imagery even if a few of the things are contradictory, but perhaps that was on purpose.
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by ParanoidParadox | [ Reply to This ]
      I appreciate the feeling behind the poem, but the problem I have with it is that it's quite unclear in the conveyance of the message. It seems as if the writer has tried to express himself, and hasn't really succeeded. It needs work, but shows potential.
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by Roberto Santos | [ Reply to This ]


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