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    dots Submission Name: My Dads A Drag Queendots

    Author: master raz
    ASL Info:    28/M/England
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 65/71/19
    Words: 336
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 1335
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2151

       Please take the time to read this!

    A poem (my dad reassures me) that isn't based on him.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Dads A Drag Queendots

    When my father told me he was a drag,
    Carrying his dresses in a pink sparkly bag,
    I couldn't believe the things I had seen,
    For my dads not a dad, he's a bloody drag queen.

    We went to a gig, the first of his time,
    With a hall full of puffs all stood in a line,
    They whistled and cheered and yelled 'hoorah',
    My dad took it in, and nudged up his bra...

    He started to boogie as if in a trance,
    Swaying and thrusting in a sick sort of dance,
    But the jerking and shaking gave an unseen dilemma,
    His bra strap had broken from an almighty tremor...

    And now from his top, one hung round the side,
    As if it was shy and trying to hide,
    And one lucky lad has noticed the breast,
    And shouted out above the rest...

    "Hey gorgeous, one of your boobs has fallen outta place"
    "It's none of your business where my breasts lie boy" said dad going red in the face.

    My dad in a panic, lifted his dress,
    To cover the boob that caused such distress,
    And in return, he showed a bit more
    Than what any of the gays had bargained for...

    He turned in a rush, to escape the mad crowd,
    Who were over the moon and screamed really loud,
    As he rushed, he tripped on the rim of the door,
    Which caused his left breast to fall out on the floor...

    His agent came out all flustered in face,
    Screaming and calling my dad a disgrace,
    "You're fired" he said "You're finished, you're done"
    "And take off those tights - I lent them from mum..."

    At the end of the night, when the shows had all finished,
    The panic and trauma of the gig had diminished,
    I sat next to my dad and said "look you're no fool"
    "You've gone from hot daddy back to my daddy cool

    Submitted on 2006-01-02 10:58:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    Oh, I wish my dad was a drag queen... I love them, we might get along better.
    | Posted on 2010-12-20 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very funny indeed.
    It kept me interested through the whole thing, and I have a very short attention span, so more power to you.
    | Posted on 2009-02-24 00:00:00 | by bubble_popper15 | [ Reply to This ]
      THat was TTLy kool i loved the drag thig it was so funny... BTW.. Was that true? well message me l8r gotta go.. u might want to tell people if it's true or not
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by Rehian | [ Reply to This ]
      That was the FUNNIEST poem I've EVER read! The whole thing was perfect, in my opinion, except...

    'And shouted out above the rest...

    "Hey gorgeous, one of your boobs has fallen outta place"
    "It's none of your business where my breasts lie boy" said dad going red in the face.'

    The first line there doesn't flow right... It feels like it needs another syllable or two, and the rest of that stanza doesn't seem to flow right, either. It's ok, though, it doesn't screw up the poem, because before and after that stanza, everything flows perfectly.
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by DrunkOnShadows | [ Reply to This ]
      haha bravo man this was pretty [censored] funny hehe the whole way through was descriptive and had alot of images in it...almost as if-dare I say it-you've had some personal experience?:P lol just messing with ya. hehe nice write.
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      haha, this very cool, i laughed all the way through it...dang...it would suck finding out that your dad's a drag...and then he gets embarrassed that much..lol...I would shoot myself...
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Writer Chic | [ Reply to This ]
      ha, you did a great job on this.
    Very very funny.
    I love how you kept it quick, yet rhymed it well.
    Kept me laughing alright

    you have a great imagination--
    keep it up &
    take care
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      thanks for the laugh! you have done a fine job with the rhythm and rhyme, and I could here the accent through your words(not a missourian accent here!) very fine job, I hope that is not your dad in the picture, if it is tell him to try blonde, they have more fun!~~tracy
    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by tmullins | [ Reply to This ]
      Verrrrrrrry funny indeed!

    Phew! I hope this is not your dad, tell him to keep his day job!lol
    What a panic! What a sight to behold! I had to laugh. The only thing that didn't sit right...the gays had bargained for. That is kind of picking on one lifestyle. What I understand (no I'm not gay) the city where i grew up has clubs like the one your drag queen perform in and a lot of their clients are straight. A lot of married couples go to see the "queens" perform. It's a comedy classic act, your write. A good piece. take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      A riot of a poem. Funny poetry is actually more difficult to write than serious poetry. The ballad rhythm helps, but you have to get it exactly right. You almost do, but there are a few lines where the words don't quite trip off the tongue so to speak.
    This line for example:"Than what any of the gays had bargained for..." doesn't have the right metre. Just sound the poem out in your head or read it aloud and you will discover where the awkward spots are. One other thing I would like you to think about, is to consider whether your descriptions of the homosexuals present are genuinely funny or represent a degree of prejudice. For example if your Dad were to dress in drag just to amuse the troops, he can be made fun of as much as possible. If he is however a crossdresser because of a compulsion, he should not be a subject of ridicule and by the same token, homosexuals should not be denigrated with terms such as "puffs". This would only be funny to a group of sexually insecure macho males.
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
    This write brought a smile to my face I dont think I will lose all day
    I find it hard to laugh now adays with all the turmoil in this world
    You my friend brought a smile and laugh to my face
    I Thank You
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a very comedic poem! i laughed from the beginning to the end. it flowed nicely and held me, almost in a trance, while i read it.

    the only correction i see is in line 31....and take of those tights.....and take OFF those tights. but that's just being picky. i stumbled over this and just wondered if others would too.

    i really enjoyed this piece! thanks for sharing!

    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by Tinasha | [ Reply to This ]
      Very funny - and original. I like it, it's a sort of "breath of fresh air", as I've not read any good lighthearted, funny poems on this website.

    My favorite is:

    "My dad in a panic, lifted his dress,
    To cover the boob that caused such distress,
    And in return, he showed a bit more
    Than what any of the gays had bargained for..."
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by HopesAndDreams | [ Reply to This ]
      Lol. This was good. I liked it a lot. I don't know if this really happened, but if it did, it must have made an interesting night! I'm glad your dad was so reassuring.

    It's not everyday that you read something like this. It was very original. That's great.

    I think that you missed a word on line 18.
    "It's none of business where my breasts lie boy" said dad going red in the face."

    It should be:
    "It's none of your business where my breasts lie boy" said dad going red in the face."

    I thought it made for a good early morning read. I'm off. Great write! The rhyming was good as well and didn't even seemed forced.

    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by Broken heart dies | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha ha ha. That was hilarious. A very entertaining piece, you've done an excellent job! Lol, you really cracked me up just now. Thanks for the laugh.

    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]

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