Depression is a theme that I feel gets a lot of attention poetically. I thought this piece was pretty good, but could use a little work grammar wise. I noticed that every stanza except for the last one and stanza #3 have punctuation. I think that if you added in a few commas in the other stanzas it would help balance out the poem punctuation wise.
Depression is a sucky thing to deal with. I deal with it from time to time. I connected with the emotion of this poem. It helps to have felt what the writer felt and is writing about.
Now I know why you wrote the piece on smiles, it sounds like you need a few (and a long vacation from holiday 'relaxation', apparently). I'd say the time has come for some indulgence (the hot bath, the magazine, the drive to the country, whatever gets the juices flowing again), you are way overdue for a little 'alone' time. Nicely expressed little unemotional vent. Take care of yourself. Bill.
Looks like those smiles you wrote about might come in handy here. Depression is as common as the common cold. It is real and it does make life numb at times. The trick is to see it for what it is. It is a kick in the pants that says you have run out of gas and need to refuel your life with something that will make you feel. I get depressed sometimes and sometimes I just don't care. Then I look at how far I have come in my life and recharge myself with those memories.