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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Praisedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dawn_voluptre23
    ASL Info:    18-Female-N.C. A&T
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 20/25/8
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 234
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 643



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsPraisedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sing a song for you
    I dance a dance of praise for you
    I wisper a prayer of thanks to you
    I love you
    Your grace and mercy is unmatched
    Glory, unminchionable
    And splinder, marvelous
    You love me beyond understanding
    Beyond reasoning
    You give me everything I need
    I'm your seed
    And I've never begged for bread
    I'v wanted other things
    I hade it when I was ready
    Right on time
    I thank you
    I bless your name
    I give all the honer
    All the praise
    All the glory
    Jesus I love you





    Submitted on 2006-01-03 01:25:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It was ok, i dont know if it was 'incomplete'...but it definitly could be brought out more. I knew exactly what it was about after the third line, if thats what your going for, great, but if not then maybe be more subtle.

    ~Kane~
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Kane Martyr | [ Reply to This ]
      oh so as your friend I will say it left me wondering and? like that was the question but its honor and honour only in some french dictionaries and its rythmn but improvement yes but hey datz why you are part of this community right chick? Luv ya *Aira*
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by Dutchess_aira | [ Reply to This ]
      Some spelling mistakes there. 'Hade'...it is supposed to be 'hate'? And honer is actually honour.(I think. )

    I find it...incomplete. And there wasn't much of anything special; just seemed one-sided. If you wanna improve by getting a rythem DO rhyme, if not... take note of the syllabus pattern in the sentences.

    What I'm saying is, get a rythem

    Its a not bad write. Definately in for improvement.
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by RyukiTZR | [ Reply to This ]



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