Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tears for Asheedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Eagle
    ASL Info:    18, M, Australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 22/38/15
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 231
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1520



    Description:
       No on technicality plz. Thoughts are welcome. This is for a friend. I don't care that it's not that great. It says what it needs to say.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTears for Asheedots
    -------------------------------------------


    You’ve always been there for me,
    Never let go.
    How much you mean to me,
    You will never know.

    To see you like this,
    Sad and depressed,
    Brings sadness to my heart,
    A tear to my eye.

    You’re not who they claim,
    You’re better than that.
    I’ve seen the real you,
    I know where you at.

    I may not be,
    The closest of friends.
    But I know what you can be,
    What you can become.

    The sadness you feel,
    Deep in your heart.
    I feel too,
    Though we are miles apart.

    It may seem silly,
    Or even lame,
    But my heart aches,
    All the same.

    I know you’re probably thinking,
    That this is all shit.
    That all I have said;
    I don’t really mean it.

    That this is all bull,
    And some psycho crap,
    But I want you to know,
    That I did mean that.

    I’ll always be here,
    Right by your side.
    You will have no reason,
    To run and hide.

    I believe in you,
    In your spirit and soul.
    And I know restoring your reputation,
    Is an achievable goal.

    To see you,
    As depressed as I once was.
    Brings tears to my eyes,
    My heart feels heavy.

    Sure, we’re not that close,
    But you’re still in my heart.
    And I still shed,
    Tears for Ashee.







    Submitted on 2006-01-03 05:45:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It is a good poem in general,but did not grab me the way i expected it too. I cannot feel your broken heart in this,i cannot even feel your tears. Try rewriting and break my heart when i read it again.this is not bad at all don't get me wrong but it needs a bit of work.What i currently feel in this is anger and alot of it,if that is the idea well done,if not work on it i would love to read it again. Good luck. Louis
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by Louis Dcree | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.