Between the lines -------------------------------------------
It's a secret untold
An unspoken word is settled in every fold
Of paper that I write on
My tainted words are hidden in between the lines
Invisible language is hard to read
It keeps its secrets untouched forever
Behind an opalescent veil
Its present, but you don't know what it is
It lurks behind every word spoken
Lends a gentle tension to every conversation
True secrets are so rare
Because these days everyone bleeds words
Erroniously filling the world with drabble
Language is a weapon and you have to wield it carefully
If you love your friends enough you sheath your sword before you come inside
Remember to leave your barbs at home
And don't forget that hidden daggers are bad manners
Take your subtle weapons instead
The tiny broken shards, sharp and unrelenting
All that was left of your ego
When the booted heel of some leaking secret
Came down like a knife
Leaving you open and bleeding
Living proof of the words
The pen is mightier than the sword.
Hey, Although your comments say, 'bash it,' I think I'll just lightly smack instead. LOL. Anyways, favourite lines would have to be:
"An unspoken word is settled in every fold"
"Because these days everyone bleeds words"
I don't know why but they stick in my mind which is always a good sign. However, my two biggest criticisms would first be punctuation. I worship at the alter of the comma...LOL. I think as is, it just seems a bit messy and jumbled, I think if you placed a couple of commas or whatever here and there, it would add some structure to your ideas. This leads me to my next point, quantity. I think you could do with looking at what is necessary and what is not. Take your best images and make them perfect, atm you have a lot of phrases which seem repetitve to me. I think you repeat the word, 'secret,' but that's just a personal opinion. The lines which I would like see removed would be:
"Of paper that I write on"
Because it's pretty obvious, without you having to say it. Therefore it's a boring line.
"Invisible language is hard to read"
This just seems wrong to me, the language is invisible. meaning you can't see it? So of course you couldn't read it...I just don't like it. I think there is a better way of saying it.
Anyways, hope this helps and maybe my crit is more of a medium-hard smack now...LOL.