Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Buried Feelingsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: whchong
    ASL Info:    26 / M / Malaysia
    Elite Ratio:    3.55 - 89/43/14
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 262
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 955



    Description:
       Of a simple deed


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBuried Feelingsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    To him, it was a simple act of kindness
    For her, it was the key that unlocked her heart

    She was brought up that way
    To be able to stand on her own
    She had been independent for so long
    She had forgotten how much relief tears could bring

    He was like any ordinary passerby
    Easily forgotten and insignificant
    Yet he was the one who held out his hand
    Where others told her to rise on her own

    His hand was warm
    While his presence was comforting
    In his absence
    The silence and emptiness were heartbreaking

    She sat alone in her room
    Her tears flowing freely
    She wanted to let him know
    That the creeping cold frightened her
    That the ache within was unbearable
    That she wanted to be with him
    That she needed to be with him

    If only she would tell him...
    If only he knew...




    Submitted on 2006-01-03 09:38:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is excellent both in its story, and in the philosophical and very deep meaning cloaked within the verse. We are brought into this world alone, and will go out alone, and part of life's struggle is to learn to be content with our aloneness. But we are social beings, and constantly seek the company of others and strive to find a special someone who is trustworthy and whom we can bond with and for a moment escape our aloneness!

    The amazing and touching human story here is wonderful, and the suspense at the ending is brilliant!
    | Posted on 2008-09-15 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I somehow feel that I am that girl sometimes. Very deep insight to what seems to be ordinary but, between the lines, there is something much deeper than another passerby
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by BrokenStream | [ Reply to This ]
      I somehow feel that I am that girl sometimes. Very deep insight to what seems to be ordinary but, between the lines, there is something much deeper than another passerby
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by BrokenStream | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really touching. I hit somwhere in my heart, and it felt very familior. i've benn through something like that. Good job on getting it down right
    sweetme
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by sweetme16 | [ Reply to This ]
      this song reminds me much of the love i have lost becuse i was to shy to tell and for that i paid deeply.. you have a very good seans of style and i like that i have added this to my favorites list and you are very good poem artist
    so please keep on writeing and you will go far ok

    shy girl

    Over and Out

    ps great job
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by shygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem sounds much like a song. The story behind it is very emotional, though I feel that this piece could've been better in prose form. While it is a good work, the fact that it's written in verses seems to make it stumble. Or at least that's the way I see it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by Kalyiel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    86306



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry