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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Markeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tmullins
    ASL Info:    37/F/Mo
    Elite Ratio:    4.5 - 127/149/41
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 947
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 568



    Description:
       how tough it must be to be "marked" as a depressive. once you go to the doctor and take medication, you must feel marked.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMarkeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    It rains here everyday.
    Tho, we're in a drought.
    I keep the curtains closed,
    no one can figure it out.

    It's not the weather that does this.
    Or the season gone,
    it's just the way I feel,
    the nights that are so long.

    The days are never ending,
    good ones are too few.
    The rain just keeps on coming.
    What else can I do?

    I write these short poems,
    that no one ever sees,
    for if they did, surely,
    I would be marked with a disease.




    Submitted on 2006-01-03 10:34:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is another well written poem by you. I think you have done a good job of expressing these feelings and the frustrations that go along with them. Nothing here to criticise, I think this is very good and captures depression very well. The labeling aspect is a good twist here too. I wonder if this is a personal poem for you or just an expression of a feeling? Anyway, a nice job with this one. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      That is really insightful into depression. I liked how you made the rhyming scheme of the poem. I think the rhyming scheme made your poem more profound and prevented it from seeming as if you were ranting or raving about your problems.

    "I write these short poems that no one ever sees" and yet we do see them here. You write well. I do agree with what some others have already said that writing can be a sort of therapy in itself. Sometimes it just takes venting out our emotions onto paper that will allow us to feel free once more.

    A Poem well done.
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Linksquest | [ Reply to This ]
      "Zion's gates"
    Propulsions, sonically shifting, antomically gifted, spiruatually lifted, what's the use it's just excuses and uses of destruction, caught up in consumption of this greed, laboring these deeds and harboring these thoughts, subminal, tangible rockets exploding in oceans and further, explore the notion of murder, elequent concepts and project tenemants, sympathetical increments, tyranny is in the air. do you see it, tyranny is in the air but do we need it, consumption of this beer and couldn't fathon one more tear, rain cloakin the sky in a sea of disguise, buying into the lies, hypocritical calculations throughout nations seek ye a proclamation till we see standing ovations, demonstrating a rebel cold as the devil and the insurmountable fears I lay my head amongst the earth crushing boulders on shoulders of steel and magna rumbling through to the source of forgotten reason. Here ye I come forth, peer into the looking glass, kaleidoscope of thoughts shifting...Take me to Zion
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by FosterKid | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Tracey. I understand your poem from a personal point of view. When people say depression is a mental illness, it scares others, there is still a huge stigma attached. The stigma is from ignorance i lack of understanding. People do not understand and many do not want to. Some believe that if a person has a mild form of mental illness such as anxiety or depression, that they will become psychotic or Schizophrenic, this of course isn't true, but lack of understanding scares people. I wish there was more information on this subject and it was publicised more instead of locked away as 'something we don't talk about'. I wish that doctors understood it better and didn't throw drugs at patients and tell them they will help, because the truth is, that's a short term fix only. A thought provoking poem, well written with heartfelt feeling and honesty in abundance. All the best. Mel.
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by litllost | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the forboding and forgotten feel of this poem. I write like this very often, I also hide the fact that I write. Or I used to, but now the secrets out and it isn't as bad. Actually I get more respect becuase I write, it sets me apart from all the other wankstas in my school. Girls feel it alot too. But I'm not worried about them. I'm only and souly worried about if they get my messages.
    Speaking of messages, what I got from this peom is a since of silent torment from your surroundings. You go through so much in your home and yet no one knows. Not just because they don't see what goes on in your home but because you don't let anyone in on your torment. The only place anyone can see your pain is in your poetry and you'll never let anyone see that because you fear they'll judge you. Is that about write. If so I suggest you tell the world your peotry. It's better to be loathed and reach many than to be loved and reached no one. Your poetry may help someone get through your same situation who may not be strong enough to hold out. Or it just may bring someone to help you out.

    Who Knows
    Ghost Child

    P.S.
    If I'm off about my incite into your poem I'm sorry, I read into things a little too much sometimes.
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by Ghost Child | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,
    I like the idea of being 'marked,' I can sympathise with being labelled and feeling down-graded because of it. Your poem has a v.simple and straight-forward structure which is fine but I think that for the nature of your piece, it would be better if it was more mixed up, un-balanced, if you know what I mean. It seems a bit nursery-rhyme to me, unless of course, that's what you're aiming for...But I think it would work better more all over the place. Other things, I would comment on is some re-phrasing:

    Tho, [I'm told] we're in a drought.

    It's not the weather that does this.
    [It's not] (Or) the season gone,
    it's just the way I feel,
    [it's just] the nights (that) are long.

    The days are never ending,
    good [days] (ones) are too few.

    I would be marked (...) [with a disease.] - More powerful without. Also, makes a nice link back to the title.=

    Hope this helps. Thanks.

    JoKing.
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by JoKing | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Traci, Did you know that depression affects of 3/4 of the world population. That it affects men as well as women at the same ratio.
    Rainy days make me depressed and I get depressed when the kids are gone. I get depressed when the mail comes. There is a trick to all this though. First you have to figure out what in your life makes you happy. Then you take those things and memories and either hold on to them or have them near you when the moods hit.
    Depression is a recognized sickness.

    Depression is real and if you feel depressed and it is effecting your life then I say seek treatment. The long term effects can be devestating to your health as well as your emotional stability.

    Writing a poem is a great way to help.

    I like your write and hope that you find peace here within yourself.

    Respect and Admiration

    Clyde

    I don't need to tell you that because you already know it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]


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