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I remember a time that was open
full of posibilities,
Tumbling down while drowning in self pity.
My bag of dreams is sewed shut by others abilities.
The strongest thread,
yet of course feared.
I ask for lenity...
for time to stand still.
i beg of life to let me catch up.
my isolated, desolate soul
no longer set free by only thing i can hold.
my own words were covered.
my own voice was drowned out.
Beauty from my fingertips screened.
And now, not even my most beloved fruition
What I thought was my own creation
recoiled into complete solitude
to be hidden by the talents of others.
My being is no match
for that the world offers so readily.
Ailments and nothing else are all I have to offer now
Torn and forgotten
Incomplete and eternally deficient
| Wow, this is really good, espceially for your age group. I see this person who fears everything and is being held down by her own fears making her apear slothy and lazy. Its like she wants these things, but things are distracting her and makes her lose faith...|
I loved it!
|| Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ] || Hello, firstlet mesay you dohave talent,this poem express very raw feeling and howothers can destory people,though moreso ,it was about howyou and many other people,only exist and don'ttake a stand for themselves. Now tobefair it's extremely tough to do when frombirth the one's who are suppose to love be the most supportive crush you the most. Now I will say this, see that's Why God gave us his our greatest gift freewill. it 'stime foryou to you it and let the neg people and the users in your life go.|
If you want toknow if your poemis good,,just look how long each commet was,though moreso how people reacted to it.
Always remember this, not every poemyou write willbe a masterpiece,if they were it won'tbe a masterpiece it would be just a standard poem.
this was a very good write
|| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ] || I agree. Don't give up. Your own unique talent can never be outshined. It is yours alone. And it can be made better. Those with more 'talent' as you call it have been working at it for awhile. It is rare that one is 'born' with talent although there are many, many talented people in this world. This does not make them better or worse than you. Have confidence in yourself and don't worry so much about the competition. Most of it is in your mind. Let those thoughts go. Maybe take a break for awhile, but do come back. You have a valid and unique voice. Don't waste it.||| Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ] || This was a poem filled with raw emotions. I can feel your apin and hopelessness. I think you have not gave writing, because you still want to be heard, you want to matter to others and in life. It so personal, that it is hard to say what needs to be worked on. I think that you poured your heart out for us in this poem. And I think you just might submit more work. You got alot to say, so say it. "No one can make you feel inferior with out your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt. Remember those words. Good write.|
|| Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ] || Hey now! Not completely forgotten... I hope you didn't really mean that about not posting anything else because you really do have talent.. and yes it might be hidden beneath the shadow of those shining brighter but look at their ages.. look at their expirience.. of course the world has people that are better than you... but thats only because they've had more time to hone their skills over the years. If you don't give up then you too can be as great as them :)|
I know exactly how you feel.. Every night before I fall into sleep I find myself thinking the same thing.. that I'm never going to be good enough and I've wasted every chance I've been given to catch up and prove myself as good as everyone else at things... Its not at all true.. and I remember that moments later and as soon as I wake up.
Don't let things like this get you down. Keep writing, keep posting, keep improving.
|| Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Childoutspoken | [ Reply to This ] |