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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Seventeen, already olddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Smee
    ASL Info:    17/M/UK
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 28/33/11
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 1429
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 803



    Description:
       I generally dislike people complaining about 'how hard it is to be a teen' when, with the right attitude, it can be pretty great. But after spending a night preventing a drunk friend from trying to strangle himself I started to think, this was the result.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSeventeen, already olddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sit alone and watch the stars
    And wonder, whatís beyond these bars?
    Of right and wrong
    Of love and hate
    Of sex and loss and masturbate.

    I walk along an empty street
    How so clichť, how very neat.
    Melodrama
    So overblown
    No Juliet and Romeo.

    Iím bored of drink, it leaves me cold
    Iím seventeen, already old.
    Iíve smoked and drank
    And done drugs too
    They didnít help me, nothing new.

    Iíve had my girls, theyíve been and gone
    Some for short times but most for long.
    We talked and laughed
    And slept together
    The nights were good, the days were better.

    I sit alone and watch the stars
    And wonder, whoís behind these bars?




    Submitted on 2006-01-04 08:11:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was good you really don't hear teenagers talk about being old. This went good all together and no mistakes as i can see.
    well hope to hear from you and keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. The rhyming is simple but works out nicely. This line doesn't really go with the rest:
    Of sex and loss and masturbate.
    but overall very inspiring but very jaded.
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Oddly Normal | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this piece. I think you hit the nail in the head with the first strike. I'm glad that you have things into perspective now some people never will. I can see that you put alot of yourself into this one and I think thats what makes it a joy to read. I say the best works come from the heart.
    Mickey
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by dawn_voluptre23 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is great peom. It shows how mature you are for your age. You are lucky that you learned these leasons early on, come people never do
    ~sweetme
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by sweetme16 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really great poem! You are very wise at such a young age. Sadly, there are some that never grow up no matter what age they become. You did a great job and the title was perfect. I look forward to reading more of your work! Good luck and God Bless, Dawn
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Dawnyd | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I felt a lot of emotion in this poem. Very good. And you say you're already old even though you are only seventeen, it's a nice touch and title for the piece. I'd say this is one of my faves. Very nice.
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by MaxHam | [ Reply to This ]


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