Like last night when i met up with Paula at the Holiday Inn.
She saw me hand a rose petal to Abigail (it had my phone number on it). I like Abigail because she's little and pretty, but she has this really nice round belly i want to bury my face in.
I like bellies. When i see girls who are too skinny i just want to give them a sandwich. Especially strippers, because they're nekked. But i stay away from tweeking strippers...especially since that whole thing with "Ice" in Yankton that one time. She's the little blonde who does that nifty trick with the Red Bull can. But those tweekers are easy to spot...cause when you have your face in their boobs you can totally smell the tweek in their armpits.
Anyway...back to Paula. She hit me with the "I'm totally not trying to hit on you or anything, but you have gorgeous eyes. Can i buy you a drink?"
I said "Sure." and moved to her table. Pretty soon we had to pis.s and i didn't know where the pisser was...so she showed me the way. I was walking behind her and i said "You look pretty sharp in that pant-suit."
She had no idea who she was messing with when she flipped up her coattail. Her a.ss looked so nice i automatically smacked it so hard i nearly lifted her off the ground. She's a business woman with a corporate account. After the first drink her nametag came off(from a conference)...after the second drink her wedding ring disappeared into her purse. And i was working her...but not too hard...because i knew she was married. She was flirtatious but nervous...so i finally said "You don't have to be nervous with me, its whatever you want, i just enjoy your company."
She took me to the bar around the corner. It was quite crowded so people were watching when we had our hands down each other's pants. So we decided to go to my place. It was funny because my cat lucy jumped on her head when we were humping. Lucy's a weird cat.
We humped and showered...and it had been so long since a woman scrubbed me down in the shower i forgot how sensuous that can be.
Back to the Holiday Inn where she supposed that the only way for her to avoid suspicion from her co-worker was to take me back there and make like we just came from the bar. But i misunderstood her meaning and thought she wanted me to hump Jean too. So when i got to the room i took my clothes off. We drank some beers and i jumped on the beds...Then Paula thought we should get a room of our own...so she got us another room.
We humped. She said i was the biggest and best ever, but she's 44 so i don't really know if i believe her.
Anyway...when i woke up this morning she was laying on my back and kissing my face. She said she had to go. She jumped up and smacked me on the ass and said "Good luck with Abigail, she's a real sweetheart." How grown up is that.
I went back to sleep, but when i woke up i found that she had brought all my clothes to the room...and my phone...and a Mountain Dew...and a cigarette...and a $20 bill on top of a note that said "Go get some breakfast. You must be starving."
Nice. I was hungry too. So i went and ate steak and eggs, but couldn't finish it all because i felt sick. Its true that i was quite hungover from drinking wine and whiskey. But my heart is heavy too.
Every day since i met Barret...i can't stop thinking about her. She's a real cool girl. Within minutes of meeting we were reading eachother's poems...and reading poems to each other. She read 'breathe' and said "That's deep...can i read it again?" She showed me the poem she just wrote and there was a line that was so beautiful...that i've stolen it and written it into a poem of my own. Another 'Dawn' poem. The only poem i've ever written for my ex wife. Been troubling me the last few days.
Her poem had words like 'pillow', 'sheets', sweat'...and others that can be found in my 'Dawn(emancipate)' poem that i had jsut written. We leaned toward eachother with our heads hanging down...and i read it to her. Then we both just got up and walked off as if we were injured somehow...but that our pains paralleled one another.
It was a memorable start.
I'm not macho...only fight because i can't back down...can't compromise.
The 'Dawn' poems are in many ways the exorcisms of past loves and women who have managed to carve out a little spot in my heart for themselves...and will remain there forever.
I have seen the end of the cycle of 'Dawn' poems. It will be called 'Dawn (renaissance)'...and i want it to be the most beautiful poem i have ever written. It begins with:
whisper on skin and a new world begins
...i'm waiting for Barrett to write the rest of it.
Her eyes are so beautiful that sometimes i daydream about them...like yesterday when i drove right past the campus library and forgot to turn in.
You don't understand. I can't stop thinking about her. As soon as i wake up in the morning...i'm dreaming those big beautiful eyes...inside mine. Barrett is so beautiful it hurts.
Its hurting me now to write this.
And i don' t know what to do.
When i see her at work...its like i can't be cool. Its like all i want to do is grab a hold of her. I can't see her and not want to touch her. Maybe just slip my finger through her belt loop...tug her towards me...pull her close...and forget to breathe...something.
So many people i have to meet without my clothes...and it feels so empty.
I want to sink into her big bright eyes...to feel her completely...and find peace. . . .
Yeah, i met Abigail at my feature reading at falls park last month. She quoted lines from one of my poems afterwards...and so i quoted lines from one of her poems. And we were getting along famously, but people kept walking up and talking to me about the read...and interrupting us. So i sent her home with a copy of the poem. This one:
there is something unnatural in the way the world comes alive in spring time not because the whir of mosquito and starling-sing arenít exactly where theyíre suppose to be or even that puddle-jumping should slow us down on our journey toward some self-imposed importance
no, long days only bring lonelier nights and the dream of a world (once dormant) now fevered with showers like kisses, which ache to remember the fragrant swell of blossom or slender blades (like the small of her spine) under bend of dewdrop
and so it goes... when the world wakes up, when feeling follows image into thought
and back to her
she was the something beautiful i would write the smooth, sudden, inimitable caress night would remember
I don't know man. I seem to want women the most...who i can't have. And it really fuc.kin' sucks. I'm afraid Barret is thinking that i'm too old or something. Not gonna get too hung up. I asked her out last week and she said "Right on...yeah, definitely"
Then she's been a little cold shouldered the last two times i talked to her. Almost like she's ignoring me. She works at this coffee shop. I went in there yesterday and told her "you look lovely today" and she said " I got new pants" and turned around. Its crazy(or i am)...but everytime i see that woman...she seems even more beautiful. I don't know...when i see her again i'm going to see about an exact time to go out...there's a play on campus...and a poetry reading at an art exhibit opening on Friday. She's a painter as well as a poet. I thought she might like to accompany me to that. I was personally invited by the 'feature' poet for that show last night when we got drunk together.
Anyway, the painter is James Starkey. He's a famous local Native American artist...i thought Barret might like to go meet him. I dunno...
Any excuse to spend time with her outside of the coffee shop...don't know if i'll manage it or not...but i'm gonna try. I'm going to ask for her phone number next time i see her...and tell her...
"...so i can harass you until you go out with me."
SO basically in all of the reality of what you are statin below is that you love women? LMAO!
Very interesting little tale you have goin on there!
Let's see...abigail wasn't mentioned to much. I think that maybe she is the more quiet one of the group maybe? And then there is this other one that you went to bed with at the HOliday Inn and had a great time with. I think that maybe the two ofyoujust had a lot of longing there. Not neccessarily for one another but just the longing period to have that one night that neither one of you will forget.
Then there is Berret. She seems like she could be a charmer. Big blue eyes eh? So you kind of want to drown in her ocean so to say...which could more or less be her belly but that's all besides the point. You have this bond going on with her and you are feeling all of the vibes that she has shot in your direction.
So you are in a position where your poetry has reached out and touched another and now you have this infactuation. which is good because the best way to get to know somebody I have came to notice is from the computer. You get to know them for the person that they are first and then get to find out the rest later. Which could make the later portion much better because you will already have that emotional bond so to say.
I think that you shouldn't put too much pressure on her or you may completely lose her. If I was you I would be patient and let her get more comfortable with you. Maybe just go to the coffee shop and sit and talk for a while. Let her get to know you on a higher level before plungin in! If you feel this way towards her then patience must be something you are able to provide for her. I know that when a man comes on too strong with me it completely makes me want to go into hiding! Just take it slowly and see what comes from it.
I would definitely still go in there with charm and teasing and laughing actions...but not go in there and completely throw yourself at her. She will think that there is only one thing that you want from her...and if she is as charming as you say then you want her to know that you are really just trying to start things off with friendship and go from there. When the time comes...take her out...open the door for her...make sure that she has all that she needs...but at the end of the night...don't even try to kiss her. Just let her long for it. Let her see "Okay, he really does like me." Also leave her wondering..."Maybe he doesn't like me...he didn't even try to kiss me." Then when she gets hears your voice again she will be uplifted.
I know how that situation is on her perspective. I'm one that will talk and tease but when the guy is like "Hey let's meet!" I'm like WHOA PARTNER! I may say okay...but inside I'm actually intimidated!
i guess i'll let it slide this once! you ARE kinda handy to have around! mr fix it!
you just leave the skating to us...hey you know we could rip out all the bathroom stuff and turn Katia's bathroom into a jungle themed strip club for ya...angie robot could perform there for us...i mean you!
*hands you can of wd-40* knock yourself out dave and just for the record...*smiles* she does!
the bed wont fit in the room...we wont have enough space to skate...we can just tag it for goodwill...but the lovesacs can stay...I also bought this black paint and *pulls out bags* glow in the dark paint and glow in the dark stickers and tahhh dahhhh...a black light!
Awww...man, the dish did get disconnected! Damn! But the DVD and TV still work.
Hubba, hubba, hubba...an Angelina Jolie robot! No freakin way! Its so lifelike! Can she...ummm...never mind...I will find out later on after you guys are asleep. I recommend you all wear ear plugs tonight, HA!
hello polar ice?? yes this is Tina at 6988 beavers lane...uh huh...yea I need a 10x16 slab of ice pronto...credit...yes...when will that be delivered? oh good perfect...see you at 1 buh bye now...
*looks over at nicks* *smiles*
Hello Freezer air...yes this is Tina at 6988 Beaver lane...yes I need to order an economny sized ac...yes it will need to be big and cool enough to keep at 10x16 size room frozen...I'm making an indoor skating rink...money is no object...yes...uh huh...okay I will need it here by 1230 not a minute later...yes yes...okay thank you doll face...
hey what do you say, we change Katia's room into a game room or something??? it will be the best prank ever! when she gets back finally she is gonna have to sleep on a pool table or something! will serve her right i say!
Fudge woman! I stocked the fridge and emptied it out cuz no ones been around. Gave a lot of the shee-at to a homeless shelter for battered women over the holidays. Prayed that they didnt get sick because its been in the freezer so long because no one was here T.
A man can only BBQ so much for one person when the angels are off on solo missions!
We may have to consider Katwoman MIA for a while, but I am pretty sure she isnt totally wiped away.
I am sure you will be proud to hear that Secret agent X has surfaced and is wrecking all sorts of turmoil on the worlds latest 'epidemic'. If he needs our support...he will ask and we will give it, but his is a very highly trained agent, so we can have faith in his skills. I believe he has support of agent #1, said Li Li...so I am confident that they will both return unscathed.
Until then...lets wait for Nikki to get off work and join us. I will mop...you vacuum...when she shows up we will get her on the dishes and afterwords...we can get into our pajamas and watch a movie!