[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: It Just Wasn't Meant To Bedots

    Author: Lady Almira
    ASL Info:    16 Female Redding Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 26/37/17
    Words: 224
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1002
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1261

       I know there really isn't a rythm to this....it was just a flow of thoughts....about my best friend and her ex.....besides I am in French.......and bored to death

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIt Just Wasn't Meant To Bedots

    I am so sorry I broke your heart
    But the love you had
    It wasnít real not to me
    Not to you and you know

    I told you first that I couldnít
    I told that my heart was hurt
    I told you not to expect too much
    But that is the humanís way

    You fell in love with your dream
    The image of me that you saw
    You never saw beneath the surface
    Beneath the smile I masked the pain with

    I tried I really did, that I swear
    But just as I said I couldnít do it
    My heart couldnít open itself
    And I just couldnít reach out

    Maybe when I find my mate
    Maybe when the love is real for me
    But with you, I am sorry
    It just can never, could never be

    Let me go, trust me on this
    You will be happy in the end
    I have my family, my friends
    There enough for me right now

    I donít the love you have
    Its all about the physical, the now
    I want truth, I want forever
    I want my nightmares vanished

    And with time, healing and that love I seek
    I will be able to love one day
    But with you, I am sorry
    It just wasnít meant to be

    Submitted on 2006-01-04 16:31:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was very nice. Although there was no rhyming, it had a steady flow. I loved what you said. It was like the female realized this was not what she wanted. She had been living a lie. And that she needed more than what the male was giving her. I like the self realization of the female. And her vocalizing her feelings. This was a delightful read.

    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you have a basis here for a good poem, I usualy start with thoughts scribbled down and then turn them into something, it doesn't always work, but you've obviously got enough to work with here.

    There are too many I's in there and some repitition that could be ironed out.

    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Vastmark | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]