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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Seven Deadly Sinsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Leon Kennedy
    ASL Info:    15/m/La
    Elite Ratio:    2.78 - 51/75/22
    Words: 224
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 1624
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1440



    Description:
       it took me a while to write this. i hope those who read it fully understand all the work that has gone into it. i also hope that the enjoy this long but good piece.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Seven Deadly Sinsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pride or vanity,
    leads one down the path of impurity,
    and causes one to disbelieve God's power,
    that makes others cower,
    this deadly sin,
    lets all the others in,
    so they can destroy what is within,
    Envy is desire,
    that puts out spiritual "fire",
    and leads one to want other people's things,
    instead of focusing on one's own blessings,
    Gluttony is wasting food or drink,
    or indulging in food one thinks,
    is a need,
    instead of using it to feed,
    the ones who are truly in need,
    Lust is a craving,
    for sex, life, or power,
    or for another goal one might desire,
    it will take you then leave you with nothing,
    all in a search for that one "something",
    Anger is a sin,
    when its without cause or is over excessive,
    it leads one to be aggressive,
    towards a God who has done nothing but good things,
    towards a God who gives us so many blessings,
    Greed is the need to obtain,
    money, wealth, or materials that can only bring disdain,
    this sin will only bring one pain,
    because it makes one only focus on what they can gain,
    Sloth is the waste of time that's given,
    it is the most wasteful sin,
    it is doing not what God has told you,
    instead you do what you want to.......




    Submitted on 2006-01-04 16:40:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Finaly, someone that was raised right! This poem is great, you listed sins that I wasn't even aware I was guilty of... There isn't very much to nit-pick about this one... so I wont pick anything lol. You did great man, you remind me of my Ex-fieance' (sp) ((That's a good thing!))
    Great write,
    ~David~
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by D.C.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      Leon
    This write is very well written
    You expressed your self Perfectly and you showed that with The Love of God in your Life you can accomplish anything
    One does not need to have such negativity in their life
    I for one have never felt better since I invited God into my Heart
    Everything is much clearer and I can feel Negative energy now and stay away from it
    God Bless
    Ron

    This one is a favorite Leon
    Great Job You Deserve It
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-07-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh i love it!!! I like the way you go into describing each sin. I don't agree with Kalyiel at all. I think it's very convincing and i don't know where she is getting this whole sounding like a rap junk. I think using metaphors would not have fit this piece. I think it's perfect just the way it is!
    pEaCe
    Liz
    | Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by smartblond | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorry, I don't want to discourage you, but I'm sure you could've done much better than that. In this poem you're just plainly describing the seven sins, without adding anything to the scene. Not any metaphors, at least, just plain describing. Also, the rhyming sounds a lot like rap, and my sincere opinion is that you should avoid that. Sorry, but your poem didn't convince me!
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by Kalyiel | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad. I don't particularly like the rhyme scheme. Couplets are only effective to a certain degree. Too many detract from your work. It's very heartfelt, and it is not a bad piece. I have a feeling that with time, you'll grow into a strong writer.

    Don't ever give up.
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Zabriel | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This was extremely good. Long poemsusually bore me, but I felt as though this was short. I guess I was so into it. You described these sins perfectly, some I am unfortunately guilty of. I see the effort you have put forth, this was great. I will add this to my favorite list, as a constant reminder of what i should not do.

    Good job!

    (Jeez, u're only 15!)
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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