Description: This pretty much speaks for it's self. I loved him... thought he loved me; he didn't... I learned; now he's crying.
I wrote this a long time ago and just decided to re-submit it.
She sits there crying;
with her head in her hands.
Six inches away from happiness...
but she's not in his plans.
She tells him that she loves him;
He says he doesn't care.
She tells him how hard she'll try
He says he won't be there.
Cause he's turned so cold hearted;
and his words run down her face.
He only cares about himself;
He's such a little disgrace.
Friends try to tell her it's o.k.
she should just move on.
She doesn't hear a word they say.
The pain is just too strong.
Then she looked into her reddend eyes;
remembering what he's done.
She hates to live with a broken heart;
but she knows what would have come.
But he's so damned cold hearted;
watch his words run down her face.
He doesn't care about her anymore;
He's such a fucking disgrace.
Then he comes back into her life...
Will she make the same mistake?
Then she remembers how bad it was;
and how much she couldn't take...
He tells her that he loves her;
She says she doesn't care.
He tells her how hard he'll try;
She says he should've been there.
He was so cold hearted;
When his words ran down her face.
She remembers he never really cared at all;
She says he's just a disgrace.
im soo in love with this and this at this exact moment is what is happening to me. im adding it to my fav list. i dont see why you deleted it... i usually hate reading heartbreak and whatnot but im soo glad i read this and i feel so much better remembering im not alone. nice job.
I think you could improve upon the flow and language in this piece in some areas, but I think overall the piece is pretty good. It's good to see that "she" got wise. One more thing, and don't hate me, but another thing to improve upon the piece and make it more original would be to change "Cold-hearted" as a title, and maybe change it in the poem as well. Maybe you could come up with another phrase, metaphor, symbol, conveying the same thing. -just an idea. But I like it. Nicely
He tells her that he loves her; She says she doesn't care. He tells her how hard he'll try; She says he should've been there. He was so cold hearted; When his words ran down her face. She remembers he never really cared at all; She says he's just a disgrace.
I like this alot. Sweet revenge. Guys sometimes think they can do whatever they want and come back. But you know what the say payback is a [censored]! I liked how you were strong enough to refuse him. Many people do not have that strength. I have a poem, "Because", If you have time check it out. You might relate.
Submission Name: Cold Hearted
