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    dots Submission Name: My F***ed Up Lullabydots

    Author: painofthanatos
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684/571/86
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 885
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 862


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy F***ed Up Lullabydots

    After a night of screaming
    I can barely even breathe
    I'm so sick of who you want me to be
    You never even asked me...

    So now I'm broken down
    From trying to break out
    This mold you made me for me
    Fits your scrawny body,
    I'm sorry I can't be that tiny

    I'm singing my own melody
    And it's going to get stuck in your head
    Until you're screaming it on the top of your lungs
    This is me, this is me, this is me

    But even as you scream
    I'm sure I'll never be more
    Than shit on your shoe
    Your biggest mistake:
    I'm always here to remind you....

    And now this warm blood
    Drawing lines down my leg
    Is the fucked up lullaby
    You never wanted to learn

    Submitted on 2006-01-04 17:59:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hellllllo intense. i like it... its so bitter, it makes me cringe but i luv it. ur emotions are expressed 100% thru ur words. it also had a good flow.. awesome!

    <3 Steph
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by roxygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel the intestity within the words. I love how they bleed off the page with meaning. I liked it! It was well written. <<3 great job
    | Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by atonement | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very angry, but in a good way. There is a lot of angry poems around, but mostly people donít know how to overcome it and put it in to words that are not pure bluntness. Poem is definitely very powerful and it has great flow.
    Except the last stanza, this reminded me of me and my mother, then me and my boyfriends' family. But, thatís behind me, more or less.
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      Wooooo...I love a poem that makes my head feel all wooozy ...This is adorable !...In an angsty bitter sad way of course !
    I love [censored]ed up lullabys..Im pretty sure i was spoon fed them...Anyway ..nuffabout me ..
    I saw nothing i could pick out of this ...it flowed nicely...and it definatly put the point across ....Awesome :D
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      It's not quite Rockabye, Baby. But sung in the right tone of voice, to the right melody, I think it could put a kid to sleep. It's a beautiful declaration of independence from the judgement of a significant other.

    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by scienceyear | [ Reply to This ]
      Very dramatic and raw with emotions. This was a detailed poem of living your own life outside of someone's control or shadow. This was very edgy and in your face. A direct and potent poem. I liked it very much.

    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

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