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To those who fear themselves


Author: Mr.Mentor
ASL Info:    18 Male Sparta
Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 5 /10 /3
Words: 90
Class/Type: Misc /Being a Teen
Total Views: 828
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 621



Description:


This Poem is dedicated to a dear friend of Mine. He is on this site and suggested it to me. I am looking to see if this poem gets the sympathetic vote across, it was just a 45 second throw me together to give everyone an Idea of my writing.


To those who fear themselves



I told you to go,
Not to be scared.

You cowered in fear,
of going there.

I pushed and shoved,
kicked and bit.

Till your foundation I broke,
And stood upon it.

I screamed out go,
For now is your time.

Leave this realm,
of comfort and wine.

And as you walked,
I waved goodbye.

I wished courage my friend,
for I had to fly.

My own mission at heart,
deepfelt in own.

The same as your quest,
Different person...less bold.




Submitted on 2006-01-04 22:12:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Hey, Your rhyme is really good and this poem is very full of emotion.
It's nice of you to write for Paco (Im guessing...)
Maybe I have too much knowlege of the situation to be the right person to comment,
but he really looks up to you..
:) keep up the good work and KEEP submitting!
Amber
| Posted on 2006-01-06 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey Randy, yeah that's kinda funny...
Um well I wrote a poem about how I couldn't help you, but that I wanted you to know that I tried to be there. But from a poetic stand point it's really good. You always manage to be better at everything I do and you do it in less time. Actually you've had more poetic experience than me...

Um... I like the consonace of the last line, it sounds good with some of the others (time, wine, goodbye) I don't know that's just me really good right.

Oh and click on the link to find me...

Your buddy Paco the Poet of Arson (Flamequill)
| Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by Flamequill | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a good piece but if you really want someone to get a sense of your writing submit a piece you have spent some time on, more time is more of you. The rhythm of this was good. Nice job.
| Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
  Well done on this poem its filled with emotion about how ur feelings felt after this. i love it very well done!Nothing bad to say about this poetry! :)
| Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by Gini | [ Reply to This ]


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