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    dots Submission Name: Disconnected Feelingdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 750
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 609


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDisconnected Feelingdots

    I sit in the cold
    dreaming of warmth.
    The room feels like Iceland
    sounds like it should.
    Looks like the 50's would've
    if they really were in black and white.
    Inside I'm as stale as old white bread.
    Walking outside the door,
    I feel infinitesimal
    amongst soaring buildings;
    I fade into the grayness of the world.
    Yet, I know that I could glow
    as big and bright as a neon sign in Times Square,
    but without you--
    I feel like a nightlight
    disconnected from the wall.

    Submitted on 2004-01-17 13:07:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      'k, HOW did this end up w/ a 3.5??????????? It's amazing! I don't think I've ever seen one this long from you. You got through the whole thing in complete free-verse, and yet it flows. Well done! "I feel like a nightlight, Disconnected from the wall." Excellent. Very poignant image. *sniff* <><
    | Posted on 2004-03-21 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the word infitesimal. I have to start giving out words again! Ha! I'm going to spit you back your own word, bwahaha! um.... good poem neatolicious. ~Cora
    | Posted on 2004-01-18 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]
      My favorite phrase... "But without you-- I feel like a nightlight Disconnected from the wall. Great metaphor! I really like the way it takes until the end for it to be clear what the poem is about. Keeps you guessing and interested. I really like this one.
    | Posted on 2004-01-18 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the metaphors you used, and your imagery. At first, I thought the tone of this poem was morose, but near the ending, I found that wasn't really the case. It's as if you're saying there's still hope with that certain person. I'm sure many can relate to that feeling.. Very nice .
    | Posted on 2004-01-17 00:00:00 | by PastelSky | [ Reply to This ]
      good work, needs a bit of tidying , but Im sure your bigger really than you felt when you wrote this ,wizard
    | Posted on 2004-01-17 00:00:00 | by wizard | [ Reply to This ]
      "But without you--
    I feel like a nightly
    Disconnected from the wall." That's such a great phrase.
    | Posted on 2004-01-17 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]

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