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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: HAUNTEDdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: disturbedx1000
    ASL Info:    21/m/ny
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 204/316/119
    Words: 244
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 219
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1492



    Description:
       this goes along with my poems THE VOICE {mainly the one it follows} DAMNNATION and THE RETURN i'm not telling who the person is, u'll have to read this poem to find out, and if you don't get why and who it is you should go and read those poems i just mentioned.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHAUNTEDdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I lie here,
    So cold and yet my tears burn,
    This one in front of me,
    This torment they didn’t earn,

    I can hear someone,
    Whispering in his ear,
    Evil word he speaks,
    He’s become something to fear,

    But why do I hear him?
    The voice of corruption,
    I can’t see him no can this one,
    So why does it sound like destruction?

    My mind slips from these thoughts,
    As my heart bleeds in my chest,
    What away to die so young and all,
    O well I did my best,

    I tried to stop him from listening,
    Form the voice he said he had,
    I guess he’s really messed up,
    And not really all that bad,

    Please don’t worry young one,
    I’m not of any use to you,
    Just please promise me this,
    Do what you must do,

    Free your mind from him,
    Agghhh the pain is too much,
    Please just listen to your heart,
    Which is cold to the touch,

    I know they favored my actions,
    But don’t be mad at mother and father,
    I was the one, who acted out,
    I don’t know why I even bothered,

    I guess I was just jealous,
    For I knew what you could do,
    You’re so mush smarter than I am,
    That’s all that I knew,

    I’m glad it’s me down here…
    For it could be another…
    I’ll be fine here…
    So… don’t worry… my brother…




    Submitted on 2006-01-06 08:16:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i got it very well(though i got a great tip-off from your message you sent and i would have gotten it anyway) this was great, yet another view of the events. i loved it! i take it the brother dying here is the older brother(if i'm wrong slap me) and that he died to try and help his brother...ah! but what else is there to say? if i continue in my adulation i will be here all day...!

    i'm off,
    Misty
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by misty_of_moon | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so, so very sad. The sibling feels so much guilt and remorse for what her (? from the writing I'd guess it was a girl, but if I'm wrong, I'm so, so sorry) brother is going through. She blames it on herself, and in a way, wants him to blame her instead of their parents. Am I right? All of your poems are just so God-damned good. Please, please continue to write.
    | Posted on 2006-01-06 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. In some places, it got confusing, but it's not bad at all.

    I'm just looking through the archives to comment more. I hope more of your writing is about.

    Take it easy.
    | Posted on 2006-01-06 00:00:00 | by KasPeR88 | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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