Deception
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Description:
This was written Feb, 28 2004 at 4:32AM. I wrote it for my ex when we were still dating. I thought I had to try to protect her from goings on in my life, I was wrong and told her after we broke up.
This isn't one of my best, but it is one of my less grim ones.
This isn't one of my best, but it is one of my less grim ones.
Deception
Though Decieve you, I have done. The love I gave, Was second to none. I thought 'twas, For the best. I didn't mean, To molest. Though I lied, I seek forgiveness. Just to speak out, And give you this. Just to tell you, I'm sorry. But I had to, Now that's another story. |
Submitted on 2006-01-06 15:00:08 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments
| Hey pretty good rhymes.. I like the couplets as a style and have always favored them. I think that if you swtched this - - I thought 'twas, For the best. I didn't mean, To molest. To being "it was" instead of "twas" it would sound alot better because of the syllables. It would just flow better. Also - -YOu should definately eliminate a "Just" in these stanzas "Just to speak out, And give you this. Just to tell you, I'm sorry." Because repeating "Just" defeats the flow of it. .Amber. | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ] | Hey, well it's hard to rate poetry when you know who it's about. Especially one like this...what do I say? I guess the best thing to say is nothing? Maybe even that it's great that at least you're getting along with her. Still it's a good poem and it has your style, which as a poet I'm jelous of. | Paco the Poet of Arson | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by Flamequill | [ Reply to This ] | |
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