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Pure Betrayl


Author: Hip-Hop Honey
ASL Info:    16/f/canada
Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 105 /86 /31
Words: 175
Class/Type: Poetry /Angry
Total Views: 1147
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 968



Description:


This is about my ex and how he recently told me (after we split) how he cheated on me....Anyways it's not the best poem in the world but I hope you all like it


Pure Betrayl



I gave yo my heart
Yet all you seemed to do
Was break it and tear it apart
Tell me how it felt when you lied
To my face
How you watched me sit and embrace the fake
I put my heart on the line for you
I invested all of my trust in you yet you
Had the nerve to lie to me
With a straight face
My heart is now broken
Trust in you I will never have
Oh ya and when you told me how great it
Was to be with a girl like me,how you
Adored and truley loved medid you lie
About all that to too me
Your right I played your fool a time or two
You blew the greatnessaway just like
How I sat by and walked around
With such foolish pride
Your still my friend I guess
Will we ever get back together?
You can tell me that
But in the end I'm still a fool because
I'm friends with an ass
What about you?




Submitted on 2006-01-06 18:32:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  i relate to this like you did mine... i wanted to be with this girl for 2 years... and she lied to me the entire time... and even when i knew she was lying, i still let myself believe her... and now, within the last 2 days i finally said [censored] her.. its a pretty horrible feeling when the one you love can sit there and lie to your face, and then expect you to still be there for them... and this poem describes that feeling very nicely... great job,
| Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by WithPaperWings | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked his poem, but I was confused just a little. How can you feel betrayed and angry, then ask "will we ever get back together? Other than that it was cute.
| Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by Suki | [ Reply to This ]
  Ha that was a great ending. "I'm friends with an ass." I love it. He really does seem like an ass. I could pretty much feel everything you put into this one. My favorite line is:

"How you watched me sit and embrace the fake"

That says a lot, and it's worded nicely
It's so sad though.
I hope you felt at least a little bit better after writing it
Great job

-nikkki
| Posted on 2006-01-14 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed reading this poem it hits a very touchy subject and all people have hand this kind of betrayal at one time or another in their lives and you did a great job writing and expressing those feelings and emotions in this piece. When some one cheats and lies the anger must come out and this was a good way to get it all out and I feel you did a wonderful job getting your feelings out.
| Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
  This was good I'm glad u made this one longer it really makes the poems better the only thing u I think u need to work on is to know when the start a new line it'll make the poem flow better which the flow and ease in which it is read is a very important prt of a poem but I know what u r going through and I hope things end up working out

-Logan-
| Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]
  It's a story that we hear again and again, I like the emotion that I found in this poem, because it's so easy to relate to these sorts of poems can be really lame, but I think that the way you've written it is good. Well done, just a few spelling mistakes to look at.
Regards, Kalinda
| Posted on 2006-01-06 00:00:00 | by Kalinda | [ Reply to This ]
  this is ok! ya guyz cheat and im still trynna figure out y! i can tell ur mad in this! but it would be better if u put more emotion into it! but thats ok! goo d job!
~akaila~
| Posted on 2006-01-06 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]


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