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    dots Submission Name: Leave Medots

    Author: submarine
    Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 128/91/45
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1076
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 661


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    dotsLeave Medots

    You've broken me,
    And Left me scarred for life,
    But still, i can't get you out of my mind.
    Still there in every thought and dream,
    I don't know why,
    But you just don't leave.

    I've asked God to make you go,
    So many times i cried to him saying
    "Take him away, make him go"
    But maybe God wants you to stay,
    That's why he has'nt heard my prayer.

    But i need you to go away,
    I need you to leave.
    Leave my mind and my soul,
    Leave my body and my heart,
    I beg of you please go away,
    Just Leave Me.

    Submitted on 2006-01-07 11:06:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this piece, but I think it would be better if it rymed. It has a lot of feeling and I enjoyed reading it.
    The only thing that I didn't really like was in the following extract:
    I've asked God to make you go,
    So many times i cried to him saying
    "Take him away, make him go"

    I don't really like the repeat of the word go, it would flow nicer if you used another word, one that maybe rymed with go.
    But all in all I like it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by xana_jackson | [ Reply to This ]

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