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    dots Submission Name: The eyes of the hanged mandots

    Author: Gothik
    Elite Ratio:    3.35 - 94/133/31
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1038
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 936

       This is not about me. But I felt it needed to be out of my mind. So enjoy!

    gothik poet.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe eyes of the hanged mandots

    Hanged by the ceiling I watch upon you.
    This wire around my neck is tightening.
    But don't be affraid you little fool.
    I may be dead but I am still watching.

    Look in my eyes and you will see.
    A world of desolation I will show you.
    It may look painfull as you dazed at me.
    But the world in my eyes is the world of you.

    Take my hand, I'll take you.
    In the deepest part of my mind.
    Where only your conscience will haunt you.
    Because that hate you had made your eyes blind.

    You once killed me,
    And now as I am looking at you,
    With all the strenght of your arms you hold me.
    But now you'll sleep no more because you loosed.

    By winning against me,
    You lost to yourself.
    And by looking at me hanged that way.
    I might want to shut that conscience and shut yourself.

    Submitted on 2006-01-07 11:21:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this was a really gripping poem. It was kinda heart-rending to me for some reason. Very emotional, but indiferent at the same time.

    The very first line drags you in and with each word it pulls you in even further, sucking you into its gripping depths. Question, what exactly does the last line mean?!?!? Think of me as stupid or whatever for not knowing what it means, but, hey, I like finding out more about others poetry.

    Damn good write, gonna read a few more of yours, oh, hey, could you do me a favor if you want, comment on my poem "My Personal Columbine". That's only if you want to though, I'm not gonna push it.

    Good job!

    *~Skye Caldwell~*
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey hun.

    Very nice write.

    Hung from the ceiling, dead, but I still see all. That is so awesome. You are so freakin' talented!

    I really don't know what else to say about it. Although I do wonder what the insiration behind this one was.

    It looks like everyone has already commented on the grammar and the spelling. But those are easy fixes.

    Keep writing, hun.
    Luv ya.
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how your voice is different. I like this poem. It's metaphorical without losing it's meaning and getting confusing. You do a really good job of creating feeling and emotion.

    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by White_Ink | [ Reply to This ]
      wow! bloomin wow! what a unique view! Your use of imagery is amzing! it really drew me in so i could almost see the scene! What a powerful tool...or weapon! lol, my fave line was "Where only your conscience will haunt you" just loved it!
    | Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by bambi144 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice Write! I really like the point of view from the hanging man's eyes. A couple of gramatical errors, but it was still good.
    | Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by metalman_21 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like that its from the point of view of the hanged man...its important to change views around in different pieces. as for grammer and such.. you might want to change loosed to lost and hangd to hung in soem of the lines, other then that its and amazing piece.
    | Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by blahblahgurl | [ Reply to This ]

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