Reflective Illusions by Leala

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Submission Name: Reflective Illusions dots

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Author:	Leala
Elite Ratio:	3.72 - 245/299/70
Words:	64

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	284
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	408

Description:
I know this has issues.. I can feel something wrong with it... any advice?

The picture is the closest I could find to what im imagining... It would be better if the second person was included... maybe I'll have to take the picture myself!

Reflective Illusions dots

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What am I,
Do I know you,
You look at me,
from that mirror,
who is it you see,

Is it actually me;
the one at your shoulder
or are you imagining someone else,

Someone I used to be,
Someone you wish I was,
Someone I might be someday?

I watch you;
watching me,
and merely guess at what you see...

Submitted on 2006-01-07 14:38:34 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i'm not sure i got the full impact of this peice but i love it anyways its simplistic and very clear which i'm finding is rare in some posts. i really enjoyed this peice. but i do think more could be added to it
| Posted on 2007-03-19 00:00:00 | by Orcelandrya | [ Reply to This ]
  Hello,

Anywhere from 6 to 8 lines of this write are questions without the question marks about half of the write. as far as the message it is a good look at oneself (uggh I think I say oneself too much lately) the first question asking the image what am I? as if the person is estranged from knowing who they are, it is an oddity but something I am well accustomed to. Also do I know you as well is a division from the image perhaps reminiscent of better days come to mind and at that very point there is melancholy. The next three lines of the first stanza are sort of an echo of the second and first line but just a different way of saying it.

Now the first line of the (for reference I’ll call it so, though I am not really sure if three lines qualify) second stanza again sort of sounds like the previous however here “actually” gives it more of a tone of disbelief. The one at your shoulder is a tad mysterious however it may be just staring at the image. taking a view from the reference of the image’s perception outward “are you imagining someone else” is a little odd but then it does clarify much better in the next three lines of the third stanza. I understand it now as someone else who is technically the same person; just so far removed from the current projection.

the third stanza the past present and future is really nice. The unhappiness with self though the past seems to be better while the present seems gloomy.

the end here seems that the image might be distorted only because of the guessing part and the whole watching you watching me is rather creepy when I dwell on it.

well done,

~mike
| Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Brilliant! OMG! It is the type of poem that everyone can relate to on some level. Looking in the mirror with thoughts and questions about what you see. I think it is very unique that you put it in the reflections point of veiw in a way. I think the title "illusions" would be a better fit in this one. Simple but effective. Awsome work!

~Lilithe
| Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by Lilithe_Aislin | [ Reply to This ]
  Both titles would work...yet I think that Illusions as a title suits better. You can be expected to be certain things by certain people(including yourself)...but really all life ever is is illusions and misconceptions...
ultimetly its your choice...but i think illusions works with the peice...
much love

XOxoXO,
me
| Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by angelfyre | [ Reply to This ]
  i like the way the repeated questions give it a sense unsatisfied searching. i think something like relentless to give it a sense of doom is a possible ending
| Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by groucho1 | [ Reply to This ]
  I'd call it reflection. or something along that line. I think this is very good. it's one long question almost so I would put the question mark only where you have the last one (after someday). also take out the semi-colons. I think the ending is perfect. nice work.
| Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]

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