roses are roses
are they not.
you see blood roses are
very special the blood rose tears
are crimson and
everytime someone weeps
of a broken heart the roses will weep
it's crimson tears they know when someone wants to end it all but when the person
is weeping for happiness
the blood roses start to wilt and die out the blood roses are my favorite flower just because they feed on the emotions that i feel
This poem really didn't make alot of sense, and I couldn't follow it well, but still I can feel what your saying. This, for a disorganized peice, is quite good. I like the way that you use a rose to relate to your emotions, and the crimson rose of all things is quite possibly the best to use in the first place. I'd suggest rearanging the lines some, but other than that good job.
I shall call in Sherlock Holmes and Watson to help me with this critique.
good evening dear writer. what we have here my dear Watson is there are a few rather odd things going on here and it is quite suspicious. for one there is a preponderance of rose words I see. yes I am quite afraid that it has taken over this poem you see. the count at 7! another thing I have noticed in my investigation is that there is a sort of nebulous structure to this write. since it is nebulous I think we will have to resort to brutish tactics in order to make this poem fit into a better state for reading. also we need to use the process of extermination “you mean the process of elimination?” well actually both I presume. so now lets get started here. Watson if you will be so kind as to help me here. *banging, lifting, chopping and sawing*
roses are roses, are they not?
you see blood petals are, very special red flowered tears, are saddened especially, every time someone weeps, of a broken heart, the buds will also weep, its vermillion tears they know, when someone wants to end it all.
but when the person, is weeping in despair, the ruby red roses, start to wilt and die out.
the scarlet blossoms, are my favorite flora, just because they feed, on the emotions that I feel.
now Watson do you see the differences here? “why yes you have taken out the extra rose words and put other types of rose words in there” correct and also I have changed the line of weeping in happiness with the wilting of the red roses for it doesn’t not make much sense symbolically if one were to compare the nature of the rose as love and the weeping as happiness not when adding wilting, so I felt it was necessary to put despair. I structured the write in a way where the first two lines open to the symbolic nature of the poem much better I would think but ultimately that is up to the writer. also the second stanza the relationship to the flowers and the next stanza the tragic death. the last stanza for the strong bond of the writer for the lovely rose. “well I do hope this writer likes it” as do I Watson as do I
I like this, because you have used the rose as a symbol of your feelings. I would put a split after broken heart the roses will weep and start a new stanza if you break up your poem it will be more powerfull. I like the way you write that is why I am giving you this advise.