[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: blood rosesdots

    Author: EV2884
    ASL Info:    21years/female/michigan
    Elite Ratio:    2.88 - 53/48/15
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 677
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 477

       just to see if it's any good

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsblood rosesdots

    roses are roses
    are they not.
    you see blood roses are
    very special the blood rose tears
    are crimson and
    everytime someone weeps
    of a broken heart the roses will weep
    it's crimson tears they know when someone wants to end it all but when the person
    is weeping for happiness
    the blood roses start to wilt and die out the blood roses are my favorite flower just because they feed on the emotions that i feel

    Submitted on 2006-01-07 16:51:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This poem really didn't make alot of sense, and I couldn't follow it well, but still I can feel what your saying. This, for a disorganized peice, is quite good. I like the way that you use a rose to relate to your emotions, and the crimson rose of all things is quite possibly the best to use in the first place. I'd suggest rearanging the lines some, but other than that good job.
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by ThisIsMyLfe | [ Reply to This ]
      I shall call in Sherlock Holmes and Watson to help me with this critique.

    good evening dear writer. what we have here my dear Watson is there are a few rather odd things going on here and it is quite suspicious. for one there is a preponderance of rose words I see. yes I am quite afraid that it has taken over this poem you see. the count at 7! another thing I have noticed in my investigation is that there is a sort of nebulous structure to this write. since it is nebulous I think we will have to resort to brutish tactics in order to make this poem fit into a better state for reading. also we need to use the process of extermination “you mean the process of elimination?” well actually both I presume. so now lets get started here. Watson if you will be so kind as to help me here. *banging, lifting, chopping and sawing*

    roses are roses,
    are they not?

    you see blood petals are,
    very special red flowered tears,
    are saddened especially,
    every time someone weeps,
    of a broken heart,
    the buds will also weep,
    its vermillion tears they know,
    when someone wants to end it all.

    but when the person,
    is weeping in despair,
    the ruby red roses,
    start to wilt and die out.

    the scarlet blossoms,
    are my favorite flora,
    just because they feed,
    on the emotions that I feel.

    now Watson do you see the differences here? “why yes you have taken out the extra rose words and put other types of rose words in there” correct and also I have changed the line of weeping in happiness with the wilting of the red roses for it doesn’t not make much sense symbolically if one were to compare the nature of the rose as love and the weeping as happiness not when adding wilting, so I felt it was necessary to put despair. I structured the write in a way where the first two lines open to the symbolic nature of the poem much better I would think but ultimately that is up to the writer. also the second stanza the relationship to the flowers and the next stanza the tragic death. the last stanza for the strong bond of the writer for the lovely rose. “well I do hope this writer likes it” as do I Watson as do I

    | Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, because you have used the rose as a symbol of your feelings. I would put a split after broken heart the roses will weep and start a new stanza if you break up your poem it will be more powerfull. I like the way you write that is why I am giving you this advise.

    Keep it coming x
    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by sunraybutterfly | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sybolic. I like how you used a flower to represent you emotions. This is unique in its own way. Good job.
    | Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by mysweetsuicide | [ Reply to This ]
      lovely descriptive view of emotions Iv'e heard of all kinds of roses but this one new too me
    and the symbolism is great:) ;) welcome to the site
    | Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]