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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beautiful Little Strangerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: anooplokur
    ASL Info:    21/male/india
    Elite Ratio:    2.76 - 73/106/34
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 733
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 435



    Description:
       well i wrote this to an innocent yet mischevious girl whom i happnd to meet outside my house i wouldn like to tell more bout it since its a personal thing..hope u like it plzzz comment..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeautiful Little Strangerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As I walked down the steps,
    my eyes caught your innocence.
    The moisture on your lips
    inviting to be kissed.

    Your firm suple breast
    could not make me rest;
    And as you walked towards me
    all I wanted was us to be alone.

    As I see you bid farewell,
    I wish to see you again.
    But in my mind you shall remain forever
    as my beautiful little stranger.




    Submitted on 2006-01-08 05:45:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOW! WILL u tell me who it's about??? u can trust me. i promise... mail me soon
    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by boo boo | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really cute. I liked how you described her as your beautiful little stranger. That's different. But I'll have to agree with The Black Rose that it wasn't very detailed...but, even with the detail that you gave, I still liked it. And, thank you for commenting on my poems Mystery Revealed and Silent Echoes.

    Kris
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by Raindrops | [ Reply to This ]
      Could have been more descriptive, but I know how words can fail to describe the people whom we long for... It makes me think that you were just concentrting on her... well, you know what- you mentioned it alredy... 'supple -'
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by Saaber | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the idea of this poem but it's not very detailed. Maybe you should try to elaborate on how she made you feel and how she looked. Simple details like her legs or smile, you know what I mean. All and all it's pretty fair.
    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by The Black Rose | [ Reply to This ]


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