Jail birds are birds that do not fly
Always thinking they're just to sly
If it wasn't for trouble there'd be no fun
Lately you find yourself always on the run
Bad indivuduals find out to late
And in an instant the judge decides your fate
Roaming around in one little cell
Doing what you can whil you wait for the mail
So remember what they tell you
To the line and keep it clean
There is more room on the outside
And you should know just what i mean
i like this a lot. one thing that bothers me is that when you say to.. it really should be too. haha i am horrible at that kind of stuff. but other than that i like it.
Thats a great poem I'm really liking it... My best friend is is jail... but it wasn't even his fault now hes in there for the next 4 and a half years but I really like it ~*Becca*~
I know this story all to well. In just 2005 alone I lost 2 months of my life to the county jail. Sometimes it's harder that it would seem to clean up ones act. I was on my way to prison before I was 18, in and out of county jail and juevenile facilities all through my teen age years, but it never slowed me down. As of late though, I've got the same exact thing that saved Johny Cash's life. The love of a good woman. If it wasn't for the fact that we are starting a family, I'd be sitting in prison and not giving a flying [censored] about how I got there or what I'd do when I got out. I need to quit rambling, so... Good poem.
Hmmm, this poem was a bit... simple. Do not get me wrong, simple is good but only if you can manage it properly. The image of jailed birds is excellently managed, and your diction is good. The structure is clear, but not convincing. There is something lacking in the poem, and that is your own personal touch. It feels too academic... too rigid. I like the idea behind it, and the message is also great, but I feel you need a bit of development.
I don't like this poem. It's very... um... bland. It doesn't have flavor in it. Try to re-write it with an added element to it. That might spice it up a little bit. Good luck
been to juvi... so the title got me... have you been there? it sounds just like it! ha ha. i liek it a lot and i can laugh about my past. i hope you can too. i was a dumb little idiot. love tina
this was (for the lack of a better word) cute. it was like a laid back write telling individuals on the verge of breaking the law to get their acts together. good job.
my uncle is in jail too... he does wait for the mail. he sends us millions of letter because he has nothing else to do. it makes me sad.. but i liked this poem. good rhyming and everything. but some people who are in jail aren't there because they did soemthign bad. some people are wrongly accused of a crime. like my uncle. well see ya
My brother is in jail right now for a couple months - he goes in & out & doesn't seem to mind it but it would drive me crazy - I'm a freebird! This had a cute rhyme scheme & is good advice - live and have fun but don't go to extremes! Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share tif
Well, I thought I understood what you were getting at, but the last stanza really threw me off. what I thought you were driving at was that one should follow the rules or ou'll just get thrown in jail and rot. And my response to that is it's okay to break the rules and go against authority, but not to the extreme. But hey, I could be way off. Overall I think it's really sweet. Kudos to you!
Submission Name: Jail Birds
