Description: I wrote this after I watched a movie, and this is the message it gave to me. What did you think?
I Watch as you Crumble and Fall -------------------------------------------
As the sadness grows deep inside
The more you want to frown and cry
Between sadness and the melacholied lines
you slip beneath the sands of time
You seem to be falling faster and faster
So fast, you're crumbling to a big disaster
Feeling so disfigured and tore up inside
Night after night the crying defines
Wishing to go back and start again
Hopefully to find a decent friend
So you can stop feeling so lonely and hurt
As you're crying here lying in the dirt
Very strong and depressing. Its a great poem and I wonder what movie you were watching. There's nothing wrong with the poem. Great write. Keep on writing. Katana
That was, what I would haev to say is one of your better poems. I liked it. Again reminded me of something I would have written a few years back. The only thing I have to critiec (i have no clue how to spell that) is
You seem to be falling faster and faster So fast, you're crumbling to a big disaster
It seems a bit jumbled up right there, but other then that it's nice.
wow thats a really good poem. its was really descriptive and it was like i could almost feel how u felt. i know what its like to feel lost and like u cant find a good friend it sux but ders always someone out der...
I like it conveys really strong emotions of sadness and lonliness. It's good short, but good. It flows really nicely i like the message and emotin. thanx Dellusion
wow!this is short and filled with the emotion of loneliness! i read this and it spoke to me! this world can be so lonely and painfull! im addin this for my faves! ~akaila~
I Like it but at the same time i wonder what the backround of this is. I wonder if it is love or friendship but i guess it could be both. Its a really good poem.
Submission Name: I Watch as you Crumble and Fall
